When is a relationship toxic- Quora Answers
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  • 1 How to know when a relationship is toxic
    • 1.1 Red Flags in a Relationship:
    • 1.2 Other Scenarios when you ask- How do you know when a relationship isn’t for you

How to know when the relationship is toxic

To begin the answer, not every relationship is for everyone. Sometimes we may even get married to someone only to find out later we are not meant to be together. So how do you know when a relationship is toxic?

I think it’s one of the hardest realisations and I feel proud of you for braving yourself up to ask yourself this question.

I would like to state that there can be two different approaches to understanding whether a relationship isn’t for you. One of them can be the red flags in a relationship. The other can be other important things. You will discover them as the blog continues.

However, there are a lot of red flags which you can figure out that the relationship isn’t for you.

Red Flags in a Relationship:

  1. Your partner may blame you for things they are directly responsible for.
  2. They may always hold you on edge for making even a small mistake.
  3. The person seeks to punish you either verbally, physically, or by giving you the silent treatment.
  4. They disrespect you, put you down, mistreat you in front of their friends, family, and relatives. Your partner also mocks you for your insecurities. They call you names and expect you to be okay with it because they love you. Nope. BIG RED FLAG.
  5. Your partner is too clingy; they are demanding- emotionally, sexually, and psychologically. They may always seek your attention when things go even a little south for them.
  6. This one earns the brownie points- they are a master manipulator. Your partner may be manipulating you emotionally into giving them what they want.
  7. Your partner may only contact you when they are alone. Which is definitely a huge sign that the partner is not for you and a huge red flag.
  8. They have massive mood swings and put YOU on spot for not tending to their seesaw attitude.
  9. They keep secrets. Their responses scream vagueness. Your partner may not give you clear answers about their whereabouts or actions.
  10. Gaslighting– If you have heard or read about this word, then you already know that the person is not the right one for you. This relationship will tank sooner than you realise. Your partner makes you second-guess your sanity by throwing judgemental opinions about you. They are masters at twisting the reality and shifting the blame on you.
  11. They are cheating on you. I don’t think you need an explanation on this one.
  12. They are either too boastful or too self-depricating. Noone wishes to be around a person who thinks too highly of themself, always speaks about themself. And no-one can bear being with a person who has a low self-esteem and zero confidence in them. Both these are red flags.
  13. Being friendly with people is good. Flirting with every new person you meet in a meeting, at work, or anywhere for that matter is a big red flag. If your partner does that, it’s not because they are too friendly, it’s mostly because they have no respect for the relationship and they don’t consider your insecurities, fears, or concerns important.
  14. One of the biggest signs that tells you that the relationship is toxic is your partner doesn’t let you speak or express your opinions. Worse yet, they believe that your opoinions should align with theirs. They clearly have no respect for what you have to say or what you think about an issue.

Other Scenarios when you ask- How do you know when a relationship isn’t for you

Now, if these points don’t resonate with you, I can offer another scenario here:

Sometimes, the people are good, the situations are all right, you both are great friends with each other. Yet, some relationships just fail. Some relationships just aren’t meant to be. Your relationship may not the right for you.

There can be the following exceptions:

  1. Your partner probably loves someone else- there may be an ex whom they haven’t been able to forget and probably looking for them in you.
  2. They have other priorities and you aren’t one of those.
  3. The person is a little extra close with their parents which may bar them from getting close to you.
  4. Their core values of life may not match with yours. Their objects, goals, ethics may be different from yours.
  5. Your partner may be perfect, but the connection may not be there. Both your emotional wavelengths may not match. Your romantic demands may not meet theirs or vice versa.
  6. You may be wanting something from life, and they are looking for something else.
  7. Your partner has not moved on from a haunting past and may seek help. You may want to help them but not know- how, you may also be feeling helpless.
  8. Both your thoughts, emotions and mentalities don’t click.
  9. You have priorities that don’t match with theirs.
  10. Their opinions upon who leads the marriage may differ from yours.

I hope this answers your question- how to know when a relationship is toxic?

For more such queries, you can take a look at other blog posts on mindfulsome.com

There’s one more such answer that may interest you- Answer.