In today’s digital age, social media has become an integral part of our daily lives. From staying connected with friends and family to sharing moments and thoughts, platforms like Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and TikTok have revolutionized how we interact with the world. However, while social media offers numerous benefits, it also presents unique challenges, particularly in the context of romantic relationships.
This blog explores the multifaceted impact of social media on relationships, highlighting both positive and negative effects, with personal reflections from my own experience.
Social media had a significant impact on my relationship. Initially, my partner and I would spend our evenings holed up in separate worlds, each glued to our screens. After dinner, we would go to bed without talking with each other, both absorbed in our social media feeds. This digital distraction created a sense of distance and disconnection between us. It wasn’t until I learned how to communicate my needs effectively to my partner that we began to bridge the gap social media had created.
Social media facilitates constant communication, allowing couples to stay connected throughout the day. This is especially beneficial for long-distance couples, where regular updates and interactions can help maintain closeness. Personally, sharing reels on Instagram helped us see that we think of each other throughout the day and love to express it with those funny memes.
Sharing photos, videos, and status updates allows partners to be a part of each other’s daily lives, especially when they are apart. It enhances the sense of togetherness and gives a peek inside their world of thoughts. Looking back at shared memories on platforms like Instagram helps me and my husband reminisce about the happy and fun times and further strengthens our bond.
Social media enables couples to build and access broader support networks. Friends and family can offer advice via comments and messages. Our friends and family leave supportive comments on our posts, which reminds us of our strong support system.
Platforms like Instagram and Facebook act as digital scrapbooks, preserving shared memories. Couples can look back on posts and photos, reminiscing about happy times and milestones. We enjoy laughing and recalling our experiences while scrolling through our shared posts and photos.
Social media provides access to resources like articles, blogs, videos and forums. There are coaches and therapists available online that offer encouragement and support through online coaching, further helping couples navigate their relationship challenges. I know how much it has helped me understand my relationship and husband so I could be a better partner. My changed and evolved personality allowed my husband to be a better partner.
Constant exposure to other people’s highlights, reels, and posts can lead to unrealistic comparisons and feelings of inadequacy. In my experience of relationship coaching, I have met and coached clients who complained about feelings of insecurity upon seeing their partner interacting with their old friends or flames. I advised them to engage in activities they enjoy that create a bit of distance to spark curiosity in their partner. This approach often rekindles interest and encourages partners to learn more about each other, regardless of how long they have been together.
Suggested Reading: 7 Ways To Stop Jealousy In A Relationship
Oversharing or constant monitoring of a partner’s social media activity can lead to feelings of being surveilled or a lack of privacy. This can create tension and mistrust in relationships.
In my coaching sessions, I help clients understand the importance of respecting each other’s privacy. See, it is absolutely impractical and unrealistic for you both to share everything. However, it does not mean that partners resort to being dishonest or vague about their whereabouts or intentions.
One strategy I often recommend is setting mutual boundaries regarding social media usage. For instance, agreeing not to check each other’s social media accounts without permission can foster trust and reduce tensions. It goes without saying that you shouldn’t engage in activities that you will feel embarrassed about before your partner.
Text-based communication needs to include the nuances of face-to-face interaction, often leading to misunderstandings. Misinterpreted messages or the absence of immediate responses can cause unnecessary conflicts. Many of my clients have experienced conflicts due to miscommunication over social media. I encourage them to prioritise face-to-face or voice communication for important discussions.
Miscommunication also occurs when partners don’t interact with each other at all. They resort to speaking with their friends or support system instead of clearing things up with each other. It further causes upheaval in their relationship. The downside is that the world knows about their problems while they remain avoidant towards each other. In my coaching experience, I have seen this dynamic frequently, and it often only exacerbates the issue rather than resolving it.
So many complaints from almost every client are often about the lack of quality time together. One of the clients shares that each time they sit together after dinner, all her husband does is scroll through social media, like other girls’ pictures, watch reels, and interact with his friends. She feels left out, neglected, and disconnected from her partner.
It is one of the most common occurrences in marriages and relationships that partners don’t spend time with each other. Even with kids, instead of engaging with them, the parents are mostly engrossed in their mobile phones, scrolling.
This creates a sense of discontent in the marriage. As a result of the biggest negative impact of social media on relationships, quality time suffers big time.
I hear stories of people who felt compelled to be with someone else or start an online affair because their partner was not around much or was always busy on the phone. I also come across several stories by our clients whose partners engage in extra-marital affairs with someone on social media, leading to a huge chaos in their marriage. Infidelity and trust issues are another negative impact of social media on relationships and marriages.
This is one of the most important aspects of social media’s impact on relationships. Social media indirectly affects sexual intimacy by creating unrealistic expectations based on the portrayals of ‘perfect’ relationships and bodies. This leads to dissatisfaction and pressure in the relationship.
Suggested Reading: Understanding and Overcoming the Lack of Sexual Intimacy in Marriage
Discuss your social media boundaries and expectations with your partner. Being transparent about your online activities and agreeing on what is acceptable helps prevent misunderstandings and build trust. We, too, had a candid discussion about our social media use and set clear boundaries that worked for both of us.
Establishing limits on social media use, such as designated no-phone times or tech-free zones, can help ensure quality time together without digital distractions. We have made it our routine to play with kids and spend family time during and after dinner before going to bed.
Respect each other’s privacy and avoid intrusive behaviours like checking each other’s messages or social media accounts without permission. Trust indeed requires proof. However, mutual respect enhances it and prevents situations where feelings of mistrust house the relationship.
Between my partner and me, it was always mutually agreed that we should respect each other’s private time and space; we never checked each other’s phones or even questioned each other’s past friendships.
We have made it a point to prioritise face-to-face communication over virtual interactions. Engaging in shared experiences and conversations in person strengthened our bond over the years. Although we still love our social media time, we make it a point to watch informative videos and reels and read articles together once a day.
Remind yourself that social media often showcases idealised versions of reality. Focus on your relationship’s unique strengths and qualities instead of comparing it with others. I advise my clients to appreciate their relationship for what it is rather than comparing it to others’ highlight reels.
Social media has opened the door to open and free learning, which also includes sexual intimacy. There are several accounts on Instagram that educate people about sexual and physical intimacy, consent, and other aspects of sexual experiences. Although social media can sometimes set unrealistic expectations around relationships and bodies, it’s important to know that social media only shows the romanticised versions of reality. I encourage my clients to have open conversations around sex and sexual expectations to ensure that they are both on the same page and free from external pressures and comparisons.
