Picture this: You’re in a heated argument with your partner. There are some words that are said, some rising of the tempers and suddenly, harm is caused. Finally, you add “sorry” and pray that it will suffice in covering all the rough edges that occurred in the course of the conflict.
Here’s the reality: As much as that one-word apology goes, it does not satisfy everyone’s needs. Why? Because it often lacks the depth and sincerity needed to address the pain and confusion left in the wake of the argument.
However, it is not that simple to say sorry. It requires swallowing our pride, admitting we were wrong, and facing the hurt we’ve caused. Real apologies can restore the spirit, rebuild a relationship and reinforce the ties which we share.
What if you are comforted with a brief apology when you are feeling hurt, angry or betrayed. It can be really shallow as if your feelings are being dismissed like the back of your hand. It’s like putting a band-aid on a deep wound; it might cover it up but doesn’t heal it.
So, how to say sorry?
In this article, we will explore the art of apology – not just the mechanics of saying “I’m sorry,” but the deeper, more meaningful aspects of it. It will be our next step to discuss how partners can encourage each other to apologise so as to create an environment that fosters growth, understanding and harmony.
Well, if you have ever asked yourself questions on how to sail through the turbulence that comes with apologies in a relationship, then you are at the right place. Let us not just learn how to say sorry but to say it with sincerity and feelings and make the relationship stronger and resilient.
The first and the most obvious of the steps to ‘How to say sorry’ is admission of the fact that you are wrong. Begin with acknowledgement. Take responsibility for your mistakes and don’t attempt to downplay your error or even assign blame of any sort on anyone else. Use apology phrases such as, “I was wrong” or “I screwed up. ”
Apologise with genuine remorse. Don’t say sorry just to appease someone. Express heartfelt regret, like “I’m really sorry for hurting your feelings.”
Make your apology individual by saying the person’s name. It is in recognition of the fact that you care about their feelings. For instance, “I am sorry [Name], for what I did.”
To better understand their side of the story one has to put himself in their shoes. Try to understand how your actions affected them. Say something like, “I can imagine how hurtful it must have been for you to hear that.”
Avoid vague apologies. Apologise for exactly what you are sorry for. For example, “I apologise for not respecting your decision during the argument we had the other day.”
Apologise and then allow the other person to express how they feel without you ending up arguing or finding a reason why it was your fault. Your apology is a starting point, however, the most important thing that should be done is to try to see things from their point of view.
In cases where it is possible, try and give a solution to the problem or a way of rectifying the situation. This could be as basic as an apology of ‘I will communicate better next time’ or ‘I will not behave this way again.’
A real apology is probably one where the person is going out of his way to ensure that a similar mistake is not repeated. Show that you’ve learned through your actions, not just your words.
Respect that the person you’ve hurt might need time to heal and forgive. Be patient and understanding of their process.
Apologies are opportunities for personal growth and becoming better individuals. Take something from this experience to be a better partner, friend or family member.
So, do not think that raw words or grand gestures matter a lot; all that matters is saying sorry in the right spirit and ensuring the damage that has been done is compensated for. Be sincere and show empathy, and learn from your mistakes. That is the true art of apology and it is something worth mastering for the sake of your relationships.