Alright, let’s really dive deep into the topic of being a good ex! Relationships can be complicated, and breakups can be even more so. But even after the dust has settled, it’s important to remember that being a good ex doesn’t just benefit your ex-partner but also benefits you in the long run. So, let’s explore some more tips on how to be a good ex.

1. Respect each other’s boundaries

This is a big one, folks! After a breakup, it’s important to give each other space and time to heal. That means not constantly texting, calling, or DMing your ex. I know it can be tempting to see what they’re up to or try to rekindle things, but it’s just not healthy. Respect your ex’s need for space and give them time to process their emotions.

And while we’re on the subject of boundaries, let’s talk about showing up unannounced. Don’t do it, y’all! It’s creepy and invasive. If your ex has made it clear they don’t want to talk or see you, respect that. Showing up unannounced will only make things worse and potentially damage any chance of a future friendship.

Other ways of maintaining healthy boundaries are:

1. Don’t text them every week saying, ‘I miss you.’ If they are on the same page as you, they will respond, and you may even get back together. But if they are at a different level from you, there’s no need knocking at their door looking for respite. You won’t find it there.
2. Don’t shower your affection upon them in any form; don’t buy any gifts for them or send flowers on their birthdays. It messes them up more than it will mess you. It adds to the confusion and hurt, and the knowledge that you guys are not together.
3. Don’t post things online to get their reaction. Guilty as charged, I did that, and I later found out that it just doesn’t serve any positive purpose. Let them breathe in peace. And allow yourself to be okay.
4. Don’t read articles on ‘get your ex back in these steps’, or ‘tricks to get your ex back’. Firstly, these things don’t work. Secondly, allow yourself to heal from the pain instead of going back to the same source of it.

2. Be kind and respectful

Look, I get it. Breakups are tough, and it’s easy to fall into the trap of being bitter or angry. But trust me, it’s not a good look. Instead, try to be kind and respectful towards your ex. Don’t bad-mouth them to your friends or on social media, and don’t say hurtful things to them when you do talk.

Remember, being kind and respectful also means acknowledging your mistakes and taking responsibility for them. If you did something to hurt your ex, apologize. Making amends will depend upon whether your ex-partner wants any corrections or not.

Don’t try to shift the blame or make excuses for your behaviour. Acknowledge where you wronged them or where you were unkind towards them. Life is too short to be holding grudges or regrets. You made mistakes. Learn from them, and move on.

3. Communicate honestly and clearly

Communication is key in any relationship, and it’s especially important after a breakup. It’s important to be honest and clear in your communication, even if difficult. Don’t try to manipulate your ex or play games with their emotions. Be straightforward and transparent about how you’re feeling and what you want from the relationship. You can also go no-contact as a way of honouring their and your boundaries. Every relationship needs time before the people in it can move to a better place. If both of you are thinking of getting back together, give it a thorough thought. Communicate honestly and with utmost clarity.

At the same time, it’s important to listen to your ex’s needs and feelings as well. Communication is a two-way street, and it’s important to acknowledge that both of you have feelings and emotions that need to be addressed.

4. Avoid jealousy and possessiveness

Listen up, y’all. It’s easy to feel jealous or possessive after a breakup, especially if your ex starts seeing someone new. But let me tell you, trying to interfere in their new relationships or stalking them on social media is NOT COOL. It’s not healthy, and it’s downright disrespectful.

Instead, focus on your own personal growth and happiness. Take time to focus on your own interests and hobbies, and try to meet new people. Remember that your ex is not the only person in the world, and there are plenty of other people out there who may be a better match for you.

5. Move on with grace

This is a tough one, but it’s important. Moving on with grace means letting go of anger and resentment and focusing on the positive things in your life. It’s okay to feel sad or hurt but don’t let those negative emotions define you.

Instead, focus on personal growth and self-improvement. Take up a new hobby, travel to a new place, or volunteer for a cause you believe in. Remember that life is short, and you don’t want to waste it on negative emotions and thoughts.

In conclusion, being a good ex means respecting each other’s boundaries, being kind and respectful, communicating honestly and clearly, avoiding jealousy and possessiveness, and moving on with grace. It’s not always easy, but it’s important to remember that being a good ex can benefit you and your ex-partner in the long run.

Remember, being a good ex isn’t just about benefiting your ex-partner; it’s about benefiting yourself as well. By approaching the breakup with kindness, respect, and maturity, you’re setting yourself up for a brighter and more fulfilling future. So, take a deep breath, be kind to yourself and your ex, and remember that everything will be okay in the end.