Letting Go of Someone You Love: Navigating the Process with Grace and Self-Care
LGBTQ+ Marriage Relationship
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LGBTQ+ Marriage Relationship
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Letting go of someone you love can be one of the most challenging and painful experiences one can go through in life. Whether it is a romantic partner, a close friend, or a family member, the decision to end a relationship can be filled with mixed emotions, ranging from heartbreak and sadness to guilt and confusion. However, it is sometimes necessary to let go of someone to grow, heal, and move on. In this article, we will explore why letting go of someone you love can be necessary and provide some tips on how to do it healthily.

Reasons for Letting Go of someone you love

There are various reasons why letting go of someone you love might be necessary. Some of these include:

1. Different values or goals:

As people grow and change, their values and goals can shift. Dreams change. However, if you feel that the relationship won’t go anywhere if both of you are not aligned, it may be time to reevaluate the relationship. It’s essential to think about what works for you as an individual and act accordingly. You may not want to spend your life fighting with your partner over something they don’t understand.

2. Toxic behaviour:

If your loved one exhibits toxic or abusive behaviour, it is important to prioritise our safety and well-being by letting go of the relationship. Toxicity can be in their actions, the words they use, their unwillingness to learn and grow as a person, and their rigidity with their unyielding and toxic value system. Besides these points, any kind of abuse is the biggest reason for you to let go of that person.

Also, read:

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3. Emotional unavailability:

If your loved one is emotionally unavailable or unable to meet your needs, it may be difficult to maintain a healthy relationship. It can be particularly challenging navigating your partner’s emotions when they are used to shutting down or escaping any confrontation. Especially in a romantic relationship, when one of the partners is emotionally unavailable, it leaves the other one unsatiated in many ways.

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4. Loss of trust:

If your loved one has betrayed your trust or lied to you, it can be challenging to repair the relationship. It can be infidelity in the relationship or a general breaking of trust. If your partner feels they can no longer trust you, it may be challenging to repair that trust and the relationship altogether.

5. Incompatibility:

If you and your loved one are fundamentally incompatible, it may be challenging to maintain a healthy and fulfilling relationship. You wouldn’t want to spend glorious years with a partner whose value systems, thought-process, and mental and emotional wavelength don’t match yours.

Letting Go of someone you love- take action

Letting go of someone you love is difficult; it can take time, effort, and patience. Here are some tips to help you let go in a healthy and productive way:

1. Allow yourself to grieve:

It is normal to feel a range of emotions, including sadness, anger, and confusion, when letting go of someone you love. Allow yourself to feel these emotions and process them in a healthy way, such as talking to a trusted friend or therapist, journaling, or engaging in self-care activities. I know it’s easier said than done. But at one point of grieving, it becomes absolutely necessary for you to pay attention to your feelings and emotional health.

2. Set boundaries:

If you decide to let go of your loved one, setting and sticking to them is important. This may include limiting or cutting off contact, avoiding places or activities that remind you of the person, or seeking support from friends and family. Setting healthy boundaries with your ex can go a long way in ensuring your mental and emotional peace. If it works for you, there’s no shame in going absolutely no contact. It is particularly hard when you have been with someone for years, and suddenly, you must let go of them. Maintaining boundaries will aid in your growth and understanding what kind of person you deserve to be.

3. Practice self-care:

Letting go of someone you love can be emotionally and physically draining. Make sure to prioritize self-care, such as getting enough rest, eating well, and engaging in activities that bring you joy and fulfilment. While you’re at it, remember that it is okay to fail sometimes. You are healing and grieving. And these are NEVER linear. It is not a one-time process, nor will it stop at one day of happiness and confidence. You are in charge of your life now. Self-care

4. Seek support:

Letting go of someone you love can be a lonely and isolating experience. Contact friends, family, or a therapist for support and guidance during this difficult time.

5. Focus on the future:

Letting go of someone you love can be an opportunity for growth and self-discovery. Focus on your goals, aspirations, and personal growth, and use this experience to learn more about yourself and what you want in a relationship. Focusing on the future doesn’t mean that you stress over what will happen. It simply means that you work towards your best self while living in the present moment. Working on the self comes from challenging your beliefs, habits, thoughts, and life. How we react or respond to things changes when we challenge ourselves to look beyond our perspective. So, allow yourself to look forward to what’s to come, going one day at a time.

6. Accept the reality:

It can be tempting to hold on to the hope that the relationship will change or that the person will return to you. And it is okay. Living in the hope of the same love, comfort, and warmth is perfectly normal. But there’s a reason why you both had to separate. Therefore, it is important to accept the reality of the situation and acknowledge that the relationship had to end. Acceptance won’t come easily, and it won’t remain. It will come to you today, and you will feel like relapsing tomorrow. However, it’s important to remind yourself that nothing remains forever. Neither will this pain. Acknowledge it and accept the reality every day until it becomes the new normal.

7. Reflect on the relationship:

Take time to reflect on the relationship and what you have learned. This can help you gain closure and clarity on why the relationship ended and what you want in future relationships. However, it doesn’t at all mean that we obsess over the relationship, the dynamics of it, the former partner, and how things could be different. Things will never be different for what is no longer present. But your life can be if you so choose to. Reflect on your relationship and understand why things had to end. Take time to figure out how you need to move on. You can speak with a relationship coach or counsellor.

Book a session with a relationship coach 

8. Avoid blame and judgment:

It is easy to blame yourself or the other person for the end of the relationship. However, this can lead to guilt, shame, and resentment. Avoid blaming or judging yourself or the other person. If it helps, write down your intense feelings. Read them and determine whether you wish to continue feeling the same negative emotions for someone you once loved. If not, then work on your thought process. Allow yourself the chance to reframe your mindset. However, it doesn’t mean you suppress your emotions. Feel them, process them, and move on.

9. Practice forgiveness:

Forgiveness can be a powerful tool for healing and moving on. Try to forgive yourself and the other person for mistakes or hurtful actions, and focus on letting go of grudges or negative feelings. Like acceptance, healing, and grief- forgiveness won’t happen every day. Some days you will feel extreme anger. Some days you will cry till your eyes run dry. But there will be days when you forgive the other person and decide to look after your mental peace. Remind yourself to do that every day.

10. Focus on personal growth:

Letting go of someone you love can be an opportunity for personal growth and transformation. Focus on developing new skills, pursuing new interests, or exploring new opportunities that can help you grow and thrive as a person.

Conclusion

Letting go of someone you love is never easy, but sometimes it is necessary for your growth and well-being. You can let go of a relationship healthily and productively by setting boundaries, practising self-care, seeking support, and focusing on the future. Remember that everyone’s journey is different, and honouring your own process and emotions during this difficult time is important. With time, patience, and self-compassion, you can move forward and find new opportunities for love and happiness.

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