Relationships have always been a captivating tapestry of emotions, connection, and shared experiences. As we embark on our individual quests to find that special someone, there are certain qualities that we commonly seek in a fulfilling relationship. While we answer ‘what are you looking for in a relationship’, we will also discuss what qualities you need to harbour to be someone’s special. In this exploration, let us delve into the core elements that many of us genuinely desire, embracing the beauty of simplicity and the power of heartfelt connections.
How would you like to have an open and honest conversation with your partner? A solid communication is wherein you are not afraid to speak your mind, be who you are, respond to one another gently and kindly, and have your thoughts put across each other. In theory, it is not tough. However, practising effective communication can be one daunting challenge. In the beginning of a relationship, things may look rosy, conversations may flow effortlessly, and opinions are rich and refined. But the real deal is in consistency of such communication. There will be disagreements, arguments, debates, and fights too. What is your take on those situations? Having said that, build such a solid foundation with your partner that you can communicate to one another without feeling the need to be defensive or argumentative. When you have learnt the skill of maintaining mutual respect during a disagreement, know that you, as a couple, are winning.
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As I mentioned in the earlier point, mutual respect is the key to an awesome relationship or marriage- supporting one another is the icing on the cake. Mutual respect and support go hand in hand. You can be supportive without respect and you cannot be respectful without supporting your partner. While you look for special signs in someone to see if they are the one- notice how they support you during your quests and missions. Supporting one another doesn’t at all mean that you become fully invested in their work. It can mean small things- taking care of the household chores while your partner works on the office deadline, feeding the baby when your partner is busy doing dishes, folding or ironing laundry after they laundered the dirty clothes, etc. Support also means holding them when they are going through something rough in their personal life. It means just being there, not asking them anything until they are ready to share. And yes, support means contributing to their growth as much as they contribute to yours.
Never waste your time on someone with whom you don’t share your goals and visions. They can be wonderful but their life goals are different. Your partner can be an excellent partner but their value and belief systems are incompatible. Why spend half a life on adjusting to something your true self doesn’t align with? Allow yourself and the other person to put forward views towards life and see if they have a common footing. If yes, give it a go. If it’s a hard no- walk away. Look for a person who shares similar dreams, vision towards life, and goals as yours.
We look for someone with whom we can forge a profound bond, someone who understands us on a deep level. Someone with whom we can share our innermost thoughts and feelings. This emotional connection fosters a safe space where vulnerability is embraced, trust is built, and love can flourish. You feel unafraid to be your truest self with them. Your partner allows you this universe of space to grow as an individual while them growing with you as a couple. Intimacy plays such a beautiful role in making your relationship alive. Their arm around you while walking, them holding your hand while driving, listening to the music together, gently kissing their head when they are asleep- these are all intimate moments. Notice whether you have this in your relationship. If yes, then you have landed a fortune!
Are you looking for someone with whom you clicked or someone whom you’d rather build a life with? That’s the thing about relationships. They don’t end at the initial click or connection. Building a deep connection with someone doesn’t guarantee you have a great relationship with them. Relationships require work. You don’t want to be with someone who is too naive to understand that love or connection is not enough to build a lasting relationship. Look for someone who shows signs of emotional preparation, self-awareness, and authentic interactions. Look for someone who is willing to grow into their best self while acknowledging and accepting who they are. You don’t have to waste your time on someone who constantly needs reassurance and is too insecure to be honest about them-self.
What are you looking for in a relationship?
Are you looking for someone to end your problems? If you think like this, you might as well stop looking for someone. You are not too mature to take the responsibility of a life with a full-fledged adult. Your partner won’t solve your problems. Falling in love with them is not the solution to things going wrong in your life. Before you look for someone, instil within you the maturity, responsibility, and the understanding that more than the external work, inner work makes the most impact. If you identify your triggers, emotional defences, reactions, and areas you need to improve, you very well have a chance at a fulfilling, healthy relationship with an equally secure and self-aware person.
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Being with someone means being with them with everything you both have. Your sense of adventure, relaxation, laughter, sorrow, and all that’s left will be on the surface. You both pick a piece of each other, examine it, adjust to it, may or may not like it, and learn to live with it.
When you are looking for someone for a relationship, notice how they enjoy their lazy Sundays, what things they read, what they talk about, how they work on upgrading themselves, and how they love themselves.
In answer to the question ‘what are you looking for in a relationship’, honestly, there is so much content out there. But really, look within and see if you, yourself are ready to build something lasting with someone. While you work on that, look for someone who is also working on themselves.
