“Soulmates choose one another, co-create a life together, and grow.’
Before you figure out who your soulmate is, let’s answer this one: what is a soulmate?
The concept of a soulmate has fascinated humanity for centuries as we yearn for a deep and meaningful connection with another person.
Traditionally, a soulmate was believed to be an individual destined to be our perfect match, our “other half.” However, our understanding of soulmates expands as we embark on a new age of consciousness and self-discovery. So let us delve into the depths of this mystical bond and explore what it truly means to encounter a soulmate in the modern era.
We will also explore the qualities and dynamics that define this profound connection, shedding light on what makes a soulmate truly special.
We must understand that humans are not wired to be alone, and the purpose of a relationship is not to get the relationship’s needs met. Instead, it’s a challenge to grow and help one another reach their potential.
We should also note that there is no perfect age for people to meet or find their soulmate. There are stories of people uniting with their soulmates after several decades of separation. Some are meant to be together in the later years of their lives, and some begin their lives together.
In the past, the notion of a soulmate centred around the idea that two souls were predestined to unite in an unbreakable bond. Moreover, it was often associated with romantic relationships, implying that finding a soulmate meant finding everlasting love. However, the evolving spiritual landscape has challenged this limited perspective, inviting us to explore a more comprehensive understanding of soul connections.
In the new age, a soulmate is not solely limited to a romantic partner but can manifest in various relationships, such as friendships, family bonds, or even encounters with kindred spirits. Moreover, these connections go beyond conventional labels and societal norms, the boundaries of gender, age, or background.
At its core, the concept of a soulmate is rooted in the belief that souls emanate from a common source, and certain souls are intrinsically connected, irrespective of time and space. A soulmate resonates with the deepest essence of our being, forging a profound connection that goes beyond the superficial aspects of human existence.
A soulmate connection is characterised by familiarity, an inexplicable feeling of having known each other before. It is a bond that transcends words, where silence speaks volumes, and understanding flows effortlessly. A soulmate supports our growth, challenging us to evolve and expand our consciousness while providing unwavering love and acceptance.
The journey of encountering a soulmate begins within ourselves. As we venture on a path of self-discovery, we gain clarity about our values, aspirations, and the essence of our being. We rediscover everything we grew up with, how it served us to date, and how our evolution will require us to learn new practices and unlearn certain patterns.
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This self-awareness becomes the guiding compass in recognising a soulmate when they cross our path. Signs of a soulmate connection may include an immediate sense of recognition, comfort and ease in each other’s presence and synchronicities that seem too meaningful to be mere coincidences. In addition, a soulmate connection often stimulates personal growth, triggering profound transformations and inspiring us to embrace our authentic selves.
You feel a strong and meaningful bond with your soulmate. It’s like you’ve known each other forever, and you “get” each other on a deep level. Things flow. You find yourself opening up to one another. Your soulmate listens to you, making you feel understood on the deepest levels. And sometimes, there’s no need for words, too. The energy of the silence, too, is soothing.
We often confuse and equate chemistry with the connection. In turn, we equate chemistry with love and have trouble understanding or fully knowing the difference between love and chemistry. People let the chemistry lead without conscious thought. On the other hand, many amazing soulmate stories began without chemistry; the partner developed a sense of togetherness with time and kindled a deep connection.
Your soulmate loves you for who you truly are. They accept your flaws and quirks, and you can be your authentic self around them without pretending or hiding. There’s no concern for judgement. You are ‘the most you’ with each other. There’s no demand for a specific version of you. Your imperfections and flaws make you human; you know that about each other.
Your soulmate’s love knows no bounds. They support you through thick and thin, standing by your side no matter what. Their love is unwavering and steadfast. Love flows freely between you. There’s utmost compassion and regard for one another without wanting anything in return. There’s no punishment for mistakes. Instead, you love and respect each other, in the best and worst.
However, I would like to elaborate further on the concept of unconditional love and what it is not. Unconditional love doesn’t mean you continue loving the other person without them participating or contributing to the relationship. Despite the initial connection, the soulmates WORK to be loving and respectful towards one another. Your actions flow in synchronisation. There’s no pressure on either of the people to agree with each other at every given point. Unconditional love happens when both people are present- mentally and emotionally. They have empathy. Even during disagreements, they are gentle with one another and with themselves.
Unconditional love has only one condition- the soulmates are willing to do the work.
You and your soulmate share similar values and goals in life. You have a common vision for the future and align on the important things that matter to you. That doesn’t mean you do the same thing or have the same interests. It simply means that you wish to grow, work towards your better self, and support one another in personal development.
‘Shared values’ means that your core beliefs match, and when given, you will challenge your beliefs if they no longer serve instead of sticking to them blindly. Your soulmate, directly or indirectly, guides you to self-discovery and self-awareness. You invite them to a different perspective. Soulmates help one another broaden their horizon of thinking. And that’s how you share dreams and values.
“Soulmates still have to pay the bills and deal with medical appointments. They raise kids, and experience the messiness of life and the realities of growing and growing older together. But people who see themselves as two connected souls tend to share a sacred bond.” — Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway, wedding officiant and author of Your Interfaith Wedding
With your soulmate, you feel emotionally connected profoundly. Knowing they will understand and support you, you can open up and be vulnerable with them. The emotional intimacy between soulmates has all these elements- empathy, mutual respect, emotional presence, validation of each other’s experience, helping them see a different angle, reminding one another when they are being defensive or closed off, gently approaching their wounds and triggers, letting each other know how proud you are of each other and meaning it and never being afraid of being vulnerable before each other. As a result, you feel seen, heard, understood, and validated.
Your soulmate inspires you to become a better version of yourself. They motivate and support your personal growth, cheering you on as you overcome challenges and pursue your dreams. As you embark on your journey of self-discovery, they always have your back in case you falter or fall. They will never discourage you by saying, ‘you can’t do this’ or ‘you don’t have it in you to achieve that’. Soulmates have utmost faith in one another; they believe that together and individually, you can discover and explore life. There may be a history of dysfunctional and painful relationship patterns, and soulmates make it work despite it all.
You notice little signs and coincidences that seem to bring you and your soulmate together. It’s as if the universe is conspiring to align your paths and strengthen your connection. You find yourselves closer to each other through challenges, hardships, and celebrations.
You are a complete human being in yourself. A soulmate enhances the richness of your completeness. You repeatedly remind each other that you deserve the best of all worlds. Despite the distance, being in each other’s arms is like being home. You feel all the tension and negativity leaving your body, and a renewed buoyancy fills you. One gaze, and you know everything is and will be okay with them by your side. You discover the balance between the calm and the storm with each other.
Communication with your soulmate is effortless, untaxing, relaxing, and rejuvenating. But it is also difficult, thought-provoking, and demanding. There may be days when you won’t exchange many words, but there will be a basic idea that you are there for each other. There will be times when doing something together will build you as individuals. Communication is not limited to speaking. It is majorly when you don’t have to speak at all, and love flows.
Deep down, you strongly believe that this person is, in many senses, yours. You look at them and feel a surge of certainty that you want to be with them, create and build a life with them. The gut feeling tells you they are the right person to co-create the present and future with. Your values and dreams align. Despite necessary changes, the vision remains solid, and you adapt to the newness together. Your intuition about each other brings you in the same direction of life. You both grow yourselves individually and together towards a fulfilling life.
