Asexuality is often misconstrued by many, and while some try to understand what it means if someone they like is asexual, some are misinformed. Primarily, someone who identifies as asexual is a person who does not experience enough or any sexual attraction at all.
So, What it means to be asexual is that a person identifying themself as one does not feel sexually attracted towards anyone. Or at least, they do not consider sexual attraction as one of the most critical determinants of any romantic relationship.
“You haven’t done it!” or “You haven’t had it the right way!” or “You are yet to experience some mind-blowing sex!” are the kinds of sentences asexuals often get to hear. The concept of asexuality or understanding that someone is an asexual or ‘ace’ is new to many, but people are trying to be more vocal about it. Likewise, the partners of asexual individuals are trying to be more informed and understand more about their partner’s sexuality.
Asexual dating may raise a lot of brows and encourage others to ask uncomfortable questions. But, of course, asexual dating is not ‘normal’ for most people out there. But the recognition of and acceptance towards asexuality are growing nonetheless.
There are online discussion groups and forums on various social media platforms like Facebook, Quora, etc. These informative forums bring forth success stories, failure stories, insights, questions, related doubts, etc., about asexual relationships and asexual dating.
People share their personal experiences; they talk about how wonderful their relationship has been going on or how their relationship has had a rough patch ever since they came out to their partner.
Asexual relationship, like all relationships, requires emotional connection, patience, mutual understanding, and love. A drive to keep learning new things and unlearning old stuff about your partner helps you keep the relationship alive.
Let’s explore further and acquire a deeper understanding of asexuality!
The answer to that question is no. If you are exploring asexual dating or understanding what it means, you must know that asexuality is a spectrum that means different things to different people.
Being asexual does not mean that they don’t have any sexual desires, but that may not be the driving force in them being attracted to someone. Meanwhile, many people do not have any sexual attraction whatsoever, but they may have other forms of attraction.
If you are trying to learn more about asexuality, you want to know that being asexual does not mean they are not attracted to anyone, for there are more forms of attraction other than sexual. Some forms of attraction include romantic, aesthetic, physical, platonic, or emotional, for that matter.
Asexuality is a sexual orientation that is as simple as any other form of orientation. One can be asexual and be romantically attracted to each other. However, there can be people who are asexual and are aromantic.
On the other hand, there are people whose sexual attraction depends on something else. For instance, someone can experience sexual attraction only when they have a deeper connection with the other person, i.e. demisexuals. Asexual dating is a thing, and they do enjoy having a partner, their attraction for whom could be for multiple reasons or reasons other than sexual attraction.
As mentioned earlier, being asexual, though by definition means that they don’t have any sexual attraction, does not mean that they don’t want sex.
However, please know that they don’t treat sexual attraction as primary, or for that matter, any reason in being the deciding factor for dating or any relationship at all.
Apart from the questions around what it means for someone to be a sex-positive asexual, there are a bunch of myths around asexuality and asexual dating.
However, some things will help you learn, if not unlearn, certain facts that aren’t said out loud often.
-Asexuality is not a disorder or just a phase
– Asexuality does not mean celibacy, and they don’t completely refrain from sex.
– As an asexual, they can enjoy dating and have sexual desires/libido, but not necessarily, have sexual attraction
– Asexuality is a sexual orientation just as much as being heterosexual or bisexual, among others
– Do asexuals masturbate? Some asexuals do masturbate in an attempt to explore themselves and their sexuality, for asexuality does not mean that they don’t have any sexual desire. However, it could mean that they don’t want to be involved sexually with a partner, or there are other parameters for their attraction (as stated earlier)
Asexual dating can be difficult, or not, something that depends on you and your partner. So if you are someone who is dating an asexual or an asexual dating, someone who isn’t, you could always use some points that could be of help. While these are not rules that one has to stick by, implementing these can truly be easy and help you find yourself a little stuck or lost.
Adjusting to the person and compromising on what you want are two different things. Hence, for two people who have different orientations, you must be open to adjusting and learning, which will help you in the long run and keep up in the future.
In line with what has been said above, this is almost as if finding a middle ground so that you both can make your relationship last and do so sustainably. When you agree on such things, you ensure that there is a balance, there’s no hard and fast rule to stick to it, but it can help. You can even engage in telephonic sex or sexting with them if they are away.
Here’s the list of dirty talks for a relationship for you to check out!
There has to be a balance of all kinds, and to make sure that you support the points mentioned above, you must also ensure that there is patience and a sense of understanding about what you need and what the other person needs. Remember that ‘this is about us, and not you and me.’
There are always ways to ensure that you feel loved, and while at it, you also try to keep your happiness and needs intact. For instance, you can masturbate, and if you are sexual and dating an asexual, this would help. Also, while there is that, don’t forget that not everything is about sex; you also have holding hands or kissing and other things that help you intimate just enough and while at it, also keeps you both happy.
As stated earlier, the relationship is not only about sex. Understandably, you may feel disconnected from your partner if you are sexual and in a relationship with an asexual. It’s natural and normal. But understand that being emotionally available tops everything! “I understand you don’t feel up to it.”, “It’s all right, let’s cuddle!”, “I know, baby. May I hold you close to me?” such sentences help both of you maintain respect and love towards each other.
Asexual dating or being asexual is not hard, especially not when you are fully aware. While people are still coming around with a social orientation such as asexual, there is enough out there for you to read and understand yourself and your partner, if need be. In addition, it is important that you know your body and understands your partners’ needs, for, in the long run, those are the things that will help. Therefore, it is imperative to educate yourself as someone dating an asexual or someone who is asexual in a day and age.