Single and Pregnant- How to deal with pregnancy alone?
Dating Single
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Dating Single
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Tips to deal with pregnancy without a partner and losing your mind.

Are You Dealing with Pregnancy Alone?

Before starting this article, I researched people dealing with pregnancy alone: how they do it, how they manage themselves during pregnancy, and how they sail right through it like true warriors. Whether it’s India, the USA, the UK, or any other country, going through pregnancy alone is daunting, emotionally draining, and loneliness attacks you from all sides. I am not exaggerating; it’s what I felt while reading those articles. I marvel at the women who gathered themselves and decided to go through their pregnancy alone. 

Although I have no experience of being alone during my pregnancies, I know people who have gone through these challenging times all by themselves. From their experiences, I list some tips to help you go through pregnancy alone. But before that, let me list out a few reasons why women end up going through pregnancy alone: 

Reasons for dealing with pregnancy alone: 

  1. Some moms know from the beginning that they want to do this alone (hats off to them, really.) 
  2. Your partner may not have wanted any children and left you alone.  
  3. Your partner may be away due to work, deployed away, or has to travel for work frequently. Or maybe your partner has passed away.  
  4. Your in-laws or parents don’t want to support you during your pregnancy, leaving you alone during your challenging times. 
  5. An unsupportive partner, too, adds to being alone during pregnancy. In that case, having or not having someone makes no difference. 
  6. In countries like India, where a daughter-in-law is mostly needed only for dowry or a male heir, it’s common for the husband and in-laws to be of tormenting behaviour which suffices the mother-to-be to choose to be alone during pregnancy. 

Tips for Dealing with Pregnancy without a partner: You are not alone! 

Being pregnant is challenging as it is. Dealing with pregnancy alone, without the support or presence of a partner, can prove to be emotionally and physically draining. The tips I am going to list may not fulfil the absence of a partner, but they sure can help you get through with pregnancy on your own. 

1.  Build a village: 

‘It takes a village to raise a child’ is undoubtedly the truest saying- raising a baby requires support from your loved ones, friends, and family. Reach out to your loved ones for various things- going to doctor’s appointments, tests and vaccines, pregnancy activities and classes, etc. Your friends can help you with any medical or personal issues. They can act as your confidant and offer you emotional and moral support. 

2.  Find other single parent friends: 

It feels easier when you have people around you who are also dealing with pregnancy alone, people facing similar challenges. If there’s no single parent in your circle, you can always reach out to local support groups, offline or online. You can connect with them now and even after the baby’s birth. You can extend yours to other single parents in need by accepting support. 

Remember, you are no less. You are strong and resilient. Being a single parent requires guts and strength. Don’t sell yourself short; give yourself plenty of credit for handling yourself and life growing within you. 

3.  Budgeting: 

Getting your finances in line while you are single and pregnant is crucial, for you wouldn’t want to struggle financially. Pregnancy demands preparation- mentally, physically, and financially. 

Try to manage your finances to cover your pregnancy costs. Pregnancy costs will include health care expenses, maternity clothes, baby gear, parental leave, etc. Budgeting will not be difficult if you know what you and your baby need each month. There are baby cost calculators available on the internet to help you figure out the costs after the baby is born. The cost of giving birth will include hospital expenses (depending upon the health insurance or maternity insurance). If your employer does not cover you, look into health insurance plans. How you can budget for baby costs:

  1. Start with listing where your money goes; go through bank statements, and make sure to keep receipts with you to understand the areas of expenditure. 
  2. Keep a 50/30/20 rule for your budget- spend 50% on the necessities, 30% on secondary items, and 20% on debt payments or savings. 
  3. Spend and save wisely; you wouldn’t want to remain penniless before the end of the month arrives. Cut down on additional expenses. 
  4. Keep a budget for contingencies; expect the unexpected. Keep some amount every month handy for any emergencies. 

4.  Get friends to come with you: 

Doctor appointments, tests, yoga classes, birthing classes, etc., become less daunting when you have a friend’s company. Ask your friends or support systems to accompany you to these places. A friend’s presence lifts your spirits and is there to give you emotional support. Please rely on your circle when you want to lean on them, share your experiences, or want them around you. 

Your parents, siblings, a good friend, cousin- think of all the people you can rely on and be ready to be there. 

5.  Setting up baby gear while dealing with pregnancy alone: 

Research done beforehand will come in handy when shopping for baby gear. Cots, cribs, clothing, diapers, formula, prams, car seats, feeding bottles, steriliser, etc., a baby needs it all. Get in touch with a person or a friend who can guide you about all these things. Which products are good for your baby and where you can get these items at reasonable prices will not burden you and your budget. 

If you are a mother and feeling frustrated, read I hate being a mom- Why do I feel so and What should I do about it?

Winding-up

Keeping all the tips mentioned above in mind, one can prepare for the new baby while dealing with pregnancy alone. It’s easier said than done, I know. But keeping a practical approach will help you sail through it all, and dealing with pregnancy alone will become a little less cumbersome.