If yes, we’ve got some answers for you. But before we get to that, let’s answer a fundamental question:
A sexless marriage is a marriage or relationship where little or no sexual activity occurs between the two partners.
It is a relationship between two human beings that do not seem to exist. It does not mean that sex is the only vital factor for a strong marriage.
But sex is one of the main cornerstones of marriage to last its time.
According to one study, approximately 15 per cent of married couples are sexless. They have had no sex with each other for a few years now. These couples are as good as divorced or living together under the same roof as strangers. It is safe to say that these couples might not go the distance, and rightly so.
I understand how after fights, arguments, conversations, and compromises, you may have asked the question- ‘when to walk away from sexless marriage’.
Before you decide to walk away, you can wait and acknowledge some causes 0r reasons why your marriage may not be having sex regularly.
Some of the most common causes of sexless marriages are:
You and your partner could be in a sexless marriage because of any of these causes. Luckily, they all have solutions. You can communicate, seek therapy, visit a doctor, and find answers together.
But if you’ve tried these solutions already, then it makes sense why you want to understand when to walk away from a sexless marriage.
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Now, there can be several reasons for this. It can either be that your partner is having an affair, are not interested in you anymore, or want a divorce. On the other hand, it could be their health and other aforementioned causes. So, first, you need to figure out the reason.
It is the case with both men and women. Their sexual desires are already met somewhere else if they are having an affair. So, if your partner lacks interest in you, they will most likely avoid getting intimate.
To help ease the situation or break the ice, they can communicate with you about what’s bothering them so you both can talk about the next step.
Again, there are various underlying factors when your partner is no longer interested in having sex with you. They may want a divorce; they are involved with someone else. Their sexual needs or desires are being met outside the marriage.
They have discovered their sexual orientation and may not be able to be intimate with you anymore. They may want to explore their life on their own. Both of you may have had so many fights or arguments already that you both don’t feel any intimacy between you.
It could also be that you both like to blame each other for every small or big mishappening or mistake.
You both don’t seem to be on the same page with several things most of the time. It may be due to a power struggle in the relationship. All emotional intimacy lost, all warmth gone, all physical touch vanished. This inadvertently causes a dent in the sex life.
And the only option you see before yourself is leaving the marriage behind because none of you wants to sit and solve this or can solve this.
There’s nothing wrong and absolutely no judgment if you might consider walking away from a sexless marriage if you’ve tried all solutions or when you realise you both are not compatible in terms of sexual pleasure.
You may have something else in mind while your partner desires something else. For example, one of you might be into kinky sex, while the other prefers mild sex with no foreplay or anything of that sort.
Some couples try to be wild, like experimenting with each other, role plays, toys, threesome, or even inviting their friends. So, here compatibility plays an important role.
But it may be different for you. For example, you may not like to do anything outside the conventional positions, and your partner may have other ideas about sex.
This difference in ideologies about sex can be one reason why some couples are in a sexless marriage.
The sexless marriage divorce rate is only increasing each day. Physical intimacy is one of the main foundations of a strong marriage. It connects the partners on a deeper level. They understand the love language. They recognise intimacy with a simple touch on the shoulder or a quick peck on the cheek.
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Physical intimacy in marriage strengthens it, helps in healthy growth, brings out the best in both partners. In addition, physical intimacy makes the partners feel loved not just with the words but also with actions.
It’s worth mentioning that some couples are completely okay about not having sex. They believe that it is normal and healthy. They are happy about the platonic relationship they share. So, there are all sorts of couples out there.
Sexless marriages aren’t always a problem if both partners are happy. Everyone’s definition of a “normal” sex life varies, and if a sexless marriage works for you and your partner, there’s no need to change it.
When you married your partner, you had not thought of both of you in this situation. You had not thought of ever thinking of a divorce. Instead, you may have had an arranged marriage or a love marriage. But, of course, we understand that misunderstandings and miscommunication get in the way of the healthy growth of a relationship.
Being in a sexless marriage can impact either of you differently. Maybe your partner is okay about not having sex. On the other hand, perhaps you want to experience more sexual activity with your partner. Perhaps either of you is done understanding the situations and conditions for far too long. Maybe either of you wants to change and a new chance at life.
Some may say sex is not the only thing about a happy marriage, so divorcing based on no sex is stupid. On the other hand, some will say that sex is one of the most vital determinants of a happy marriage; if there’s no sex, there’s no point in letting your life be ruined.
However, if one of you is unhappy and constantly argues about it, or you’ve been stressed about the whole arrangement, then yes, you can consider an out.
Suppose one of you resorts to other methods of satisfying yourself, like extramarital affairs or physical relationships with other partners, masturbation. In that case, you need to face it and make a call.
Often, broken communication is a reason for the lack of sex in marriages. Thus, you may want to make some significant changes in your lives to enhance your physical relationship too.
You can talk it out with each other and reach a middle ground. The two of you can help each other understand where you stand and what grounds you hold concerning sex or no sex in a marriage. An honest conversation between you will allow you to come clean about your preferences, likes, and dislikes.
Or you can divorce each other.
Physical intimacy must come naturally from both of you. For that, you both must have feelings for each other. Not just the physical attraction and lust. That is good only to a certain extent. However, when your partner is no longer interested in having sexual intercourse with you, do not hesitate to find out exactly the problem.
When you both feel that it will not work, you already know when to walk away from a sexless marriage.
