Why Blended Families Are Unique 

Blending families are unique because they bring together individuals with different backgrounds, cultures, routines, and traditions. Unlike traditional nuclear families, blending families can face additional challenges related to establishing new family dynamics, roles, and relationships.

Common Situations Leading To Blended Families

Remarriage or Re-parenting: 

When a divorced or widowed parent marries or partners with someone who also has children, they create a blended family.

Adoption or Fostering: 

Blended families can also form when a family adopts or fosters children, integrating them into the existing family dynamics and structure.

Co-parenting arrangements: 

In some cases, families blend when parents share custody of their children and bring them into relationships.

Sociological Perspective

Cultural Attitudes: 

Sociological research shows that acceptance of blended families varies widely across cultures. In societies where traditional nuclear families are highly valued, blended families face challenges in gaining acceptance.

Support Networks:

Strong support networks, including extended family, friends, and community resources, benefit mixed families significantly. Social support can ease the transition and provide emotional and practical assistance.

Integration and Identity:

Sociologists highlight that role ambiguity is a common issue in blending families. Defining roles and responsibilities for parents and children can be challenging, requiring clear communication and agreement within the family.

In some cultures, there may be a stigma associated with remarriage or having step-siblings. This can impact the social integration of the family and affect the children’s social experiences.

Psychological Perspective 

Adjustment period: 

Psychologists note that children in blended families often go through an adjustment period where they adapt to new family dynamics. This period can involve emotional and behavioural changes as children navigate their new environment.

Attachment and Bonding: 

Developing secure attachments within a blended family is crucial. Research indicates that children benefit from stable, supportive relationships with biological and step-parents.

Blended Families’ Impact On Mental Health 

Blending families may experience higher levels of stress due to the complexities of merging different family units. Effective coping strategies, such as open communication and family therapy, can mitigate stress.

1. Increased stress levels: 

Mixing families often comes with high levels of stress as both adults and children adjust to new roles, relationships, and routines. This can manifest in various ways, including anxiety, depression, and behavioural issues. You can refer to this book for more information.

2. Identity and Self-esteem issues: 

Children in blended families may struggle with identity and self-esteem issues, particularly if they feel torn between their biological parents and step-parents. It’s essential to provide consistent support and reinforce their self-worth. This book will help you gain more insights and effective strategies to thrive in blended families.

3. Parental Conflict: 

Conflicts between biological and step-parents can create a successful environment for children. Effective conflict resolution strategies and family counselling can help manage and reduce these conflicts.

4. Attachment and Bonding: 

Developing secure attachments within a blended family is crucial. Research indicates that children benefit from stable, supportive relationships with both biological and step-parents. Providing a nurturing environment facilitates these bonds. Handbook of Family Measurement Techniques will provide deeper insights into attachment and bonding and how blending families can develop secure attachments within the family structure.

5. Behavioural Changes: 

Children in blended families might exhibit behavioural changes as they cope with new dynamics. Parents should be observant and responsive to these changes, offering support and seeking professional help if necessary.

How to blend families successfully 

1. Communicate Openly and Honestly: 

The Smith and Johnson families are blending. The Smiths consist of a single mother, Laura, and her two children, Emily (10) and Jack (8). The Johnsons consist of a single father, Mike, and his daughter, Sarah (12). Laura and Mile decide to hold weekly family meetings to discuss any issues or concerns.

Regular family meetings provide a structured opportunity for everyone to voice their concerns, share their feelings, and discuss family rules and expectations. This helps build trust and ensures everyone feels heard. Now, for everyone to feel heard and not judged is very important. Parents may have to understand that their kids will require time and additional support to adjust to the new set-up and changed dynamics. They make sure everyone gets an equal chance to speak without interruptions. They validate their children’s feelings and also open space for a dialogue for finding solutions together.

2. Establish New Family Traditions:

The blended Thompsons and Ramirez family consists of a same-sex couple, Alex and Luis, and their children from previous relationships. Alex has a daughter, Zoe (11), and Luis has a son, Mateo (9). To create a new tradition, the family decides to have a weekly game night where each person gets to choose a game to play.

Creating new traditions can help unify the family and build a shared sense of identity. Engaging in activities that everyone enjoys can promote bonding and positive interactions. Incorporating elements from each family’s previous traditions can help make new traditions feel more inclusive. If Zor enjoyed a specific game with Alex, and Mateo had a tradition of a special bedtime story with Luis, combining these activities into the new tradition can make it richer and more meaningful. This way, everyone feels a sense of continuity and respect for their past.

3. Foster Individual Relationships: 

The Smith-Taylor family is blending. Single mother Karen Smith and her daughter Lily (10) are moving in with single father John Taylor and his son Max (12). John makes an effort to spend one-on-one time with Lily by taking her to her favourite ballet class and then discussing her interests over ice cream.

Building individual relationships between step-parents and step-children is essential for a harmonious family environment. Scheduling regular one-on-one time with each child helps build trust and connection. John should also pay attention to Lily’s unique interests. For example, While Max enjoys playing soccer, Lily may prefer quiet, thoughtful conversations about her classes. John can tailor his time with Lily to her interests, demonstrating that he values and respects her individuality.

4. Set Realistic Expectations: 

The Ali-Roberts family- Ahmed Ali and his son, Tariq (13), and Susan Roberts and her daughter, Rachel (14) are blending. Ahmed and Susan acknowledge that it will take time for their children to adjust to the new family dynamics. They reassure Tariq and Rachel that it’s okay to have mixed feelings and that they will support them throughout the process.

Blending families is a gradual process that requires patience and realistic expectations. It may take time for all family members to adjust to the new family structure, and being flexible and understanding is crucial. Ahmed and Susan can share stories of other families who have successfully blended over time to give their children hope and perspective. They might say, “It’s normal to feel a bit unsure right now. Remember, it’s okay to take time to adjust. We’re all in this together, and we’ll keep working on it until everyone feels comfortable.” This approach helps normalise children’s feelings and sets a realistic time frame for adjustment.

Also Read: Nurturing Parenting: 10 Tips to Become a Nurturing Parent

5. Respect Existing Relationships: 

The Johnson-Parker family (Tanya Johnson with her daughter, Ava (9) and Mark Parker and his daughter, Simon (11)) are blending. The parents ensure their children maintain regular contact with their other biological parents. They encourage positive co-parenting relationships and respect the children’s existing traditions and routines.

Maintaining a cooperative co-parenting relationship with the biological parent of your step-children can reduce conflict and promote stability for children.

6. Encourage Collaboration: 

Linh Nguyen and her daughter, Mai (10), and Carlos Garcia and his son, Luis (12), are blending. The family is working together on a project to redecorate the living room. Each family member contributes ideas, and they make decisions collectively. This project fosters teamwork and a sense of accomplishment.

Working on family projects together can enhance teamwork and create a sense of accomplishment. It is important to ensure that each member’s input is valued. Inclusive approaches, such as voting, help family members feel their opinions matter and teach compromise and collaboration skills.

Blending families successfully involves understanding the unique dynamics at play and implementing strategies to foster unity and harmony. With the above-mentioned tips, blending families can navigate their challenges and build a strong, cohesive family unit.

The dream of sipping on my tea in bed went back into my head, where all the dreams of being cosy in my room lay with dust upon them. I had to keep my mug aside and go outside to interfere.

My first instinct was to yell at the top of my lungs, ‘STOP!’ when I saw them clutching their collar and raising their free hands to punch in each other’s eye sockets. Instead, I waited. I walked near them for them to realise my presence. Let me not fool you; it did NOT intimidate them. They hit each other nonetheless, but not in the eye sockets. Thankfully, neither of them cried at it because they were ready to have another go. And this time, I did interfere. 

“Okay, kids, I think we have had enough of the fight for the day. Why don’t we sit in the room and settle it?” I said so firmly but with a voice in their hearing range. The kids looked at me and then at each other and let go of each other’s collars. 

My elder one is six years old, and the younger one is five. The elder one is quite a hitter because his interests lie in punching, jumping around, doing somersaults, and flipping in the air (yeah, it’s commendable how he does it). 

All the parenting blogs I have read mostly target keeping patience and calm. And they don’t undermine the impatience that comes with parenting; they know it’s hard.

One of the most challenging tasks in handy with parenting is taming the ‘hitter’ in your kid. We all have experienced the embarrassment of our child hitting another child either at school or at a party. And we all have received enough complaints about the same that we may as well write a book on it. 

Usually, we lose our calm and jump right in to become a part of the fighting while yelling or shouting or being angry. And we forget to ask why they were doing it in the first place. Let us begin by discovering the same.

Why Kids Hit or Bite or Kick or Push

If you have read multiple parenting blogs like me, you may have come across the term aggressive behaviour in toddlers or kids. And you may also know that aggressive behaviours in the kids are way, waaaaayyyy common. In younger kids and toddlers, it is because the skills of speaking and expressing emotions are not fully developed. Kids do not know how to manage their challenging emotions and BIG feelings. They may not know to give their anger, sadness, or any such emotion an outlet, so they use their body. 

Trust me when I say this; all of us are privy to our toddler’s behaviour. But how we respond to them hitting the other child or their younger sibling or yourself makes the difference. As a disclaimer, I would state that the task is challenging, demanding tonnes of patience and consistent practice. 

So, What you should NOT do! 

Yelling. Shouting or yelling at your little hitter is what you should not do. And most certainly, you don’t raise your hand on them.  Why? Because it will somehow encourage more of that aggressive behaviour. 

“Kids don’t follow the advice; they follow the actions.” If they see you doing the same thing you are stopping them from doing, they will probably not listen to you. That’s what I meant when I said that the task at hand would require more patience and practice. 

Take a look at the phrases that you do not say or use while inching forward to stop your child:

OH MY GOD, WHAT DID YOU DO?

OH GOD, WHAT ON EARTH ARE YOU DOING?

HOW MANY TIMES DO I TELL YOU NOT TO HIT! 

STOP RIGHT AWAY, OR I WILL SLAP YOU! 

STOP HITTING YOUR LITTLE SISTER! 

WHY DO YOU NEVER LISTEN TO ME! 

OH MY GO, ARE YOU CRAZY! (That one is extreme, amongst many others.)

As I typed these phrases, I pictured myself yelling the same to my kids. And so did you. 

Most child psychology specialists remark that when your child is being aggressive or hitting someone, they mostly do it for attention. And when we react in the manner mentioned above, they take it as a convenient way to take your attention for the next time. 

Reacting in a BIG manner to their BIG feelings will allow them to showcase the same aggressiveness in the future. 

Now, that doesn’t mean you think, ‘Oh damn, I am a horrible parent….’ Relax. Take a deep breath. And allow yourself some space. You are not a horrible parent, for everyone makes mistakes. And everyone learns from them. That brings me to the next step- what you should do instead. 

What you should do to ‘tame’ the hitter in your toddler?

Remember this thumb rule because you will need it every time you move forward to stop your kid from hitting- you are cool, you’ve got this, you are the super calm boss. 

NO MATTER WHAT, you are to stay calm and keep your cool. As I have already mentioned, it’s tough, but remember, you are the boss! 

Yelling at your kid to stop them from hitting will put a halt on the kid for a second, but it will not teach him not to hit at all. After reading many blogs and books and a hell of a lot of practice, I have understood the 3-step process. You bet I am going to share it with you! 

Step 1: See the kid

See the kid—their actions. Them hitting the other kid or person. Do not jump right in to stop them. Instead of running towards them to correct their behaviour, slap, or scold them, talk and connect:

“I see you are upset because she pulled your hair.” 

Such a phrase will allow your child to notice you taking note of them. It will enable them to turn towards you with their emotions. Now that you have got their attention, it will help you connect with your child. 

Step 2: Give the green light to their feeling.

How would you feel if you are upset and someone comes and says, “So what you are upset, get over it!”?

Yes, it isn’t very pleasant. Now imagine how your little chipmunk would feel upon their feeling gone unnoticed or, worse, disregarded? They will instantly feel unwanted. Trust me; they do; I often hear this- “Ma, you don’t love me, you don’t listen to me!”

Instead of ignoring their feeling, okay it, give it a green signal:

“It’s okay to feel upset, baby.” 

You can add a few more comforting words like:

“I understand it, my child; calm down. I know you are angry, and it’s okay. I am here.” 

Again, as a disclaimer, I know it’s demanding and challenging, but don’t forget who you are- the super calm boss! 

I also understand that it’s easier said than done. But as I said, it will require extraordinary patience and practice. It wouldn’t come naturally to you, especially if you were parented entirely differently. So, keep at it and continue the effort. That brings us to the last step! 

Step 3: Boundaries! 

It’s just the right time after connecting with your child and okaying their feeling that you state the boundaries to them. 

“It is not okay to hit or kick when you are upset. I will move her away from you to keep her safe.” 

If the kid has hit you:

“I won’t allow you to hit me; I will move away from you to stay safe.” 

If they still come at you or their sibling, try this:

“I know you are upset, but it is not okay to hit. Now I will hold your hands down so that everyone is safe.” 

And then gently pull them to you. 

The process needs several times of practice, patience, and consistency. And you may need to repeat these steps more than once until their tantrum is over. You will need to keep the super-cool boss & leader inside you energised till your child gets calm and listens to you. 

But will it work? Will your child push past you to hit their sibling again? Will the kid huff up and go outside yelling? 

Absolutely. 

Yes. It will not work right away. But it will if you keep at it. Because in the end, all your hard work and patience will be worth raising your little nugget as an emotionally healthy child.

This is where the understanding and practice of Gentle parenting becomes more useful.

Hang in there! 

It’s not all because connecting with your child better will require you to go to them later and speak with them about the earlier event. 

“Earlier in the noon, you had grown upset and pushed your little brother. It’s okay to be upset, my darling. But hitting is not okay. What else would you want to do when you get frustrated?” 

Talking with your child after they have calmed down is important; it will show them how one reacts and responds when something doesn’t happen according to them. And it will help them grow emotionally healthier.

Are You Dealing with Pregnancy Alone?

Before starting this article, I researched people dealing with pregnancy alone: how they do it, how they manage themselves during pregnancy, and how they sail right through it like true warriors. Whether it’s India, the USA, the UK, or any other country, going through pregnancy alone is daunting, emotionally draining, and loneliness attacks you from all sides. I am not exaggerating; it’s what I felt while reading those articles. I marvel at the women who gathered themselves and decided to go through their pregnancy alone. 

Although I have no experience of being alone during my pregnancies, I know people who have gone through these challenging times all by themselves. From their experiences, I list some tips to help you go through pregnancy alone. But before that, let me list out a few reasons why women end up going through pregnancy alone: 

Reasons for dealing with pregnancy alone: 

1. Some moms know from the beginning that they want to do this alone (hats off to them, really.) 
2. Your partner may not have wanted any children and left you alone.  
3. Your partner may be away due to work, deployed away, or has to travel for work frequently. Or maybe your partner has passed away.  
4. Your in-laws or parents don’t want to support you during your pregnancy, leaving you alone during your challenging times. 
5. An unsupportive partner, too, adds to being alone during pregnancy. In that case, having or not having someone makes no difference. 
6. In countries like India, where a daughter-in-law is mostly needed only for dowry or a male heir, it’s common for the husband and in-laws to be of tormenting behaviour which suffices the mother-to-be to choose to be alone during pregnancy. 

Tips for Dealing with Pregnancy without a partner: You are not alone! 

Being pregnant is challenging as it is. Dealing with pregnancy alone, without the support or presence of a partner, can prove to be emotionally and physically draining. The tips I am going to list may not fulfil the absence of a partner, but they sure can help you get through with pregnancy on your own. 

1.  Build a village: 

‘It takes a village to raise a child’ is undoubtedly the truest saying- raising a baby requires support from your loved ones, friends, and family. Reach out to your loved ones for various things- going to doctor’s appointments, tests and vaccines, pregnancy activities and classes, etc. Your friends can help you with any medical or personal issues. They can act as your confidant and offer you emotional and moral support. 

2.  Find other single parent friends: 

It feels easier when you have people around you who are also dealing with pregnancy alone, people facing similar challenges. If there’s no single parent in your circle, you can always reach out to local support groups, offline or online. You can connect with them now and even after the baby’s birth. You can extend yours to other single parents in need by accepting support. 

Remember, you are no less. You are strong and resilient. Being a single parent requires guts and strength. Don’t sell yourself short; give yourself plenty of credit for handling yourself and life growing within you. 

3.  Budgeting: 

Getting your finances in line while you are single and pregnant is crucial, for you wouldn’t want to struggle financially. Pregnancy demands preparation- mentally, physically, and financially. 

Try to manage your finances to cover your pregnancy costs. Pregnancy costs will include health care expenses, maternity clothes, baby gear, parental leave, etc. Budgeting will not be difficult if you know what you and your baby need each month. There are baby cost calculators available on the internet to help you figure out the costs after the baby is born. The cost of giving birth will include hospital expenses (depending upon the health insurance or maternity insurance). If your employer does not cover you, look into health insurance plans. How you can budget for baby costs:

1. Start with listing where your money goes; go through bank statements, and make sure to keep receipts with you to understand the areas of expenditure. 
2. Keep a 50/30/20 rule for your budget- spend 50% on the necessities, 30% on secondary items, and 20% on debt payments or savings. 
3. Spend and save wisely; you wouldn’t want to remain penniless before the end of the month arrives. Cut down on additional expenses. 
4. Keep a budget for contingencies; expect the unexpected. Keep some amount every month handy for any emergencies. 

4.  Get friends to come with you: 

Doctor appointments, tests, yoga classes, birthing classes, etc., become less daunting when you have a friend’s company. Ask your friends or support systems to accompany you to these places. A friend’s presence lifts your spirits and is there to give you emotional support. Please rely on your circle when you want to lean on them, share your experiences, or want them around you. 

Your parents, siblings, a good friend, cousin- think of all the people you can rely on and be ready to be there. 

5.  Setting up baby gear while dealing with pregnancy alone: 

Research done beforehand will come in handy when shopping for baby gear. Cots, cribs, clothing, diapers, formula, prams, car seats, feeding bottles, steriliser, etc., a baby needs it all. Get in touch with a person or a friend who can guide you about all these things. Which products are good for your baby and where you can get these items at reasonable prices will not burden you and your budget. 

Winding-up

Keeping all the tips mentioned above in mind, one can prepare for the new baby while dealing with pregnancy alone. It’s easier said than done, I know. But keeping a practical approach will help you sail through it all, and dealing with pregnancy alone will become a little less cumbersome. 

Before I tell you about the best books for one-year-olds, here’s to diapers, sleepless nights, stuff toys, slurp farm, Cerelac, and many more! Congratulations on the birth of your child.

Well, there’s a whole list of things that you must have planned for your kid, ranging from his name to the school you will be getting him admitted to, the places you will take him to, and a lot more.

Being a parent, we understand how essential it is to focus on the learning of your child. However, at this stage, when you’ll be busy feeding him and getting him a variety of toys, you might think the idea of reading to your infant is a bit strange and inappropriate.

But, let me tell you, learning must begin at an early age. Of course, I am not asking you to get a pile of books and hand them over to your infant. That’s useless. Moreover, impossible.

We have come up with this updated article that includes the 12 best books for one-year-olds and that you can read out to your child. The latter part also aims at answering some of the basic questions. Let’s have a look-

12 Best Books for one-year-olds

1. Moo Baa La La La–

This little book is the perfect way to get your child to know animals and the sound they make. From a dog’s bark to a cat’s meow to a horse’s neigh- your child will have fun throughout!

2. First Farm Words (first 100)–

This book for one-year-olds is based on farm words. The book is filled with colourful illustrations and covers basic vocabulary for your baby. In addition, it features a wide range of pictures of farm animals, farm produce, machinery, and other farm-related objects.

3. Where is a Baby’s Belly Button–

This book comes up with an idea to help your baby learn about body parts. As and when you open the book, it starts by asking where the baby’s eyes are? And as you move forward, his eyes move below the hat. Then, it goes on to ask about other body parts.

4. Time For Bed–

This is one of the best books for one-year-olds best suited for bedtime. An adorable storyline features the mother mouse asking her little kid to retire to bed as the night approaches. The book will be appealing to your child as it includes simple rhymes and watercolour illustrations.

5. Little Green Frog–

A perfect choice for interactive reading! The book revolves around a frog introducing you and your kids to his friends who live around. His friends are a duck and her new ducklings, fish, turtles, a rabbit, and a few more. And this one’s my personal favourite!

6. Will You Be My Sunshine?–

The book presents a lovely storyline where a little asks his mommy if she will become his sunshine when cold. She replies in the affirmative. And following this, he asks if she will become his rainbow when it’s dark. The book will cause you to caress your child more. 

7. Counting Kisses–

Among the best books for one-year-olds that will boost your affection for your baby! When the baby is frustrated and cries, everybody in the house offers them kisses. It helps in teaching counting, from 10 kisses on the baby’s toes to the one last kiss on their forehead.

8. Roar, Roar, Baby!–

The book will keep your kid hooked in searching for the baby tiger. It features a baby who wanders about a zoo, calling out the baby tiger. But the tiger is nowhere to be seen. And, after all this, the baby stumbles upon the baby tiger who is hiding in the tall grass. I loved reading it to my kids!

9. Look, Look- 

This book is a great way to let your little one explore a variety of things. It allows your child to count all the activities that are taking place around- the blooming flowers, swimming fishes, and shining stars. The book has short and simple text printed in red. My kids learned almost everything from this one! 

10. On My Leaf–

The book presents a fun-filled journey of a ladybug who chills out on a leaf. It walks through the rain, drinks water, and enjoys with its family. You and your kid will get to follow her throughout her journey.

11. “More, More, More”, Said The Baby–

This book mainly features three characters: a little guy, a little pumpkin, and a little bird. These babies are having fun with their parents, and it’s never enough for them. So, they demand more and more playing time. 

12. My Very First Book of Numbers–

Oh yes! You should get this book for your little munchkin. One of the best books for one-year-olds- this will help make them learn numbers. It depicts ten fruits with numbers that match them. It will be an easy and fun way for your kid to learn counting. Another thing about this book is that your kid will learn numbers and come across different fruits.

Why should you read to your one-year-old?

A twelve-month-old child can see and feel the presence of things around them. He begins to understand objects slowly. So, point to objects and say the names aloud.

 Before your child begins to learn the printed words, he’d love to hear the sound of the language. It is the first step towards making them understand the meaning of objects around them. 

Reading out to children acts as a booster in improving their listening skills and imagination power. In addition, it makes their learning process more manageable.

Please note, even if your child is independent when it comes to reading, do not leave reading out to them. Instead, go for books that are according to their interests but a bit beyond their understanding level. This way, you can expand their understanding.

What to consider when buying books for one-year-olds?

Below is the list of things that you should keep in mind when purchasing books for one-year-olds-

1. Illustrations- your child will love books with vivid, colourful, and extensive illustrations.

2. Text- the text of the book should be simple with repetitive and easy-to-remember rhymes.

3. Interactive- go for books that let your kid participate while reading, such as the ones with buttons and flaps.

4. Material of the book- books made up of cloth or board books will be appealing to your child.

What are the reading activities that you can perform for your infant?

1. Use your voice- your baby would love to hear funny sounds more than anything. So go for the weirdest sounds you can ever make. Eventually, your child will try and imitate you.
2. Visit the library- get your child introduced to books via a library. Present a collection of books of different types to her, and notice which one they grab and pay attention to the most.
3. Be a role model- children tend to imitate people around them. For example, grab that magazine that you were not able to read for a long time now. In a short period, you will find him leafing through them.

Winding-up

We want to wind up by saying that try and plan a 20 minutes reading schedule with your little one. It will help him a long way.

The article brought to you some of the best books for one-year-olds to kick-start your child’s learning process. We understand that a little child comes up with many duties, and you must have many other things to look after. So when your child grows a year more, you can begin reading these books to them! 

Start with small steps. They can make a big difference!

What Do You Mean By Homeschooling Your Child?

Zoom classes, online assignments, tests, uploading, and downloading, you did everything to ensure that your child keeps up with the school program. All we did was help our kids sit through the daunting online classes with their tests and worksheets.  Either we appointed tutors to give them next to formal education, or we let them be. Homeschooling your child has a much wider horizon. 

Many parents, including me, felt the need to take matters into their own hands and have the liberty to teach and educate our kids our way. That consisted of our schedule, our lesson plans, YouTube tutorials, play-and-learn worksheets, and assignments drawn out by yourselves. Parents homeschooling their kids didn’t have to depend on their curriculum to teach their children. Instead, they devised their study modules. They didn’t rush with their concepts. Instead, they imparted knowledge in a creative but practical manner. 

That’s what homeschooling is all about. But for your convenience, I’ll explain what and how homeschooling looks like. It indeed isn’t your regular 7 to 3 school time routine and similar schedules with lectures and periods that school follows. Instead, it’s a much more flexible, interactive, practical approach to teaching your toddlers. 

If you, too,  are thinking of homeschooling your child, and have questions about whether homeschooling is the right choice, then you have come to the right place. So dig right in and read on! 

The shortest answer to this question is, Yes. As long as you are committed, involved, patient, and have enough energy to teach your toddlers, then homeschooling your child can be the best option. 

You don’t need to have a meritorious educational background or expensive means and measures to homeschool your child. Parents with a high school education can be as good to homeschool their children as any highly educated professional. 

In homeschooling, your kid can learn things by doing basic chores. I threw two pillows; you threw three more; see how many pillows we have on the bed! 

Benefits of Homeschooling Your Child 

A positive academic, emotional, and social environment yields the best results of homeschooling. In addition, it’s been researched and proven that homeschooled children outsmart the typically schooled children. Besides the research, I shall provide you with varied homeschooling benefits from experience and Mary Pride’s Practical Homeschooling Magazine. The author of The Big Book of Home Learning. 

A Safer Environment: 

It’s not unknown that today’s school environment does more harm than good. School bullies, unrestrained children bringing knives or guns to the school, physical and or sexual assault by the teachers have made schools a scary place for children. As a result, your little munchkins are more susceptible to the unforgiving and unscrupulous world out there, and they may not know how to defend or protect themselves. 

Homeschooling ensures a safer, more personal nurturing, and mature and bully-free conditioning of your child. It provides that your children learn via practical and creative methods. Enjoyable education trips or vacations, flexible study schedules, joyful ways of learning help your child gain knowledge beyond the confinements of books and blackboards. 

Better Family and Social Values:

There’s no better person than the parents responsible for their kids’ moral, social, and family values. Parents put in an extra effort; they go the extra mile for their children’s betterment. They make sure to handle them with extra care when they harbour uncomfortable feelings or experience complex emotions. 

Inculcating family and social values in your child while homeschooling lays a strong foundation for life and all the lemons it throws their way. Unlike in schools, the children don’t miss out on learning the difference between right and wrong. It’s particularly taken care of during homeschooling. 

No Sexual/ Emotional/ Drugs Pressure: 

Homeschooling ensures less exposure to drugs, alcohol, sexual, and emotional abuse. But, unfortunately, children often fall under peer pressure and engage in harmful activities to their present and the future. 

As per a study conducted by the NCSA, National Centre for Substance Abuse, “5 million high schoolers say that they binge drink at least once a month. A teenager who starts drinking at 15 is four times more likely to become alcohol dependent than the one who waits until the legal age to drink.” Let’s not forget the enormous number of children falling prey to inhalants, street drugs, etc., with their classmates. 

According to a survey conducted by the National Campaign to Prevent Teen Pregnancy, 81% of kids aged between 12-14 believe that they are pressured to have sex too early. The main idea behind the sex-ed is exploited. In homeschooling, parents wait for a likely age to have the ‘talk’ and teach life facts. 

Now that you have made up your mind that you want to and can homeschool your child, the next question arises:

  “Where and How Do I start?”

Anything new can seem daunting, challenging, and a thing that requires continuous research and effort. Homeschooling is no different. First, you shall need information about the homeschooling state groups, local support groups, curriculum providers, etc., besides procuring the school’s supplies and necessary literature on homeschooling.  

Research, Research, and more Research! 

Any time you begin, do not begin without having the proper and necessary knowledge of what and how you will do things. Proceeding without preparation always ends in a disaster. So, gain plenty of knowledge via magazines, “how-to” books, veteran homeschoolers. Join the local homeschool organisation. Educate yourself of all the routes and methods you need to take to understand your goal of homeschooling. You will have questions, and there will be people and literature to help you find all the answers. 

State’s Homeschooling Prerequisites 

State homeschool requirements vary from state to state, even country to country. For example, in the USA, you have to register yourself with the local superintendent by filing an annual declaration that you intend to homeschool your kids along with the home instruction plan. Whereas In India, homeschooling is not regulated by any authority. However, students opt to take grade 10 and 12 exams of the National Institute of Open Schooling (NIOS) or the International General Certificate of Secondary Education (IGCSE). It opens for them the options for higher education. 

Local Homeschooling Group

Get in touch with and meet the homeschoolers in your area to understand how you can go with your plans. Speaking with them and listening to their experiences will ease your stress and fill you with more valuable information. You will understand what works the best for you and your kids. You will learn which sports or educational clubs you can have your kids join, you will observe your children’s interests more closely. There may be weekly classes of something more exquisite than the regular schooling routine, like learning a foreign language, educational trips to museums, library visits, etc. 

Plan a Homeschool Curriculum

As per the USA homeschooling norms, the parents must register with an individualised homeschool plan with authority. You also have to submit the quarterly reports and conduct tests and assignments. The curriculum can either be obtained from the curriculum providers or the online syllabus, typical for all the kids of a specific age group. Such curricula are designed to suit your child’s interests. They vary from the conventional textbooks and syllabi. There is no restriction on what you want to teach your child anywhere in the world. It could be Advanced Math at the age of 7 if your child is a genius besides other subjects, or it could be consistent practice sessions of guitar and ballet. 

Homeschooling Space, Goals, and Schedule

Shall the homeschooling take place in your backyard while counting the lizards with your kid? Will you be teaching the Alphabet and numbers on a whiteboard? Do you need to set a schedule for your kids? Consider what, how, where, and how much you want to teach. 

Flexibility in the routine, a child’s changing interests, and energy are the key elements to consider while you sit with your kid. You can choose to stay strictly organised for the initial months to reach your primary goal of homeschooling. However, you can also devise weekly plans to touch and focus on subjects individually. 

Remember not to be rigid or lose your patience if things seem hard. Homeschooling is a tough job, and if you have planned to take it up, then you have the strength and the brains to get through with it too. Adapt to your child’s needs, and you will see how impressively your kid can learn. 

As parents, we are all doing the best we can. We prepare food for them, teach them, play with them, listen to their tantrums, tell them stories when we want to sleep, buy them toys and gifts when we are short of money.

As parents, we raise our kids in the best way we have known and learnt. We are doing the best we can.

But wait for a second, are we?

If I ask you to list out all the things you expect from your children as a parent, I bet you would come up with a list that never ends. You would want them to top in academics, be a well-mannered child, be responsible, obedient, and what not! 

Well, let me tell you, you are not over-expecting. After investing time and energy, it’s natural for you to expect a return. 

But, what’s not natural- ‘Not-so’ Common Expectations of Parents:

YOU expecting without giving. In what areas do parents expect from their kids? Take a look:

1. Manners:

Kids should always be well-mannered and well-behaved. They mustn’t throw tantrums in public. They are supposed to sit quietly in the car. They should walk nicely and with no questions in the departmental store. They must know better than to throw tantrums.

2. Academics and Sports:

The kids must be good at studies and sports. They must excel in each grade and each sport. Or the kids should be proficient in multiple languages and learn new things. Kids should actively take part in sports, competitions, and several contests. The true nature of the kids develops when they participate in various things at school.

3. Harmony amongst the Siblings:

The kids should know how to behave with a younger sibling and not harm them. They must always be sweet and courteous with each other. No fights should take place between them. And in case of strife, they should know to mend it as soon as possible.

4. Career:

Once they turn 20, they must be financially independent. A grown-up child must have a job. They must be serious about their career and always brimming with the ideas of making money.

5. Help with the Households:

The kids must be aware of helping their parents with household chores. They should help around the house- with cooking, cleaning, washing clothes and dishes. They should keep their rooms clean and not add to the burden of their parents.

6. Respect:

The kids must respect all the elders in the family; they should not talk back or talk in a louder voice while speaking with their parents, uncles, or aunts. They must be cordial with the grandparents.

7. Emotional Support System:

Parents expect their kids to understand their difficult emotions; kids should know how to behave when their parents are undergoing a tough situation in life; they should give their parents emotional and moral support while understanding everything else happening in their lives.

8. Support in their Old Age:

The kids are expected to support their old parents; provide for them. If they can’t provide for them, then take care of them when they need. They should always be with their parents, through thick and thin. They should consider it their responsibility of caring for their elderly parents.

9. Social Behaviour:

The kids aren’t supposed to argue with anyone. They should stay quiet when a relative is critiquing them. The child must be obedient. The kids should not talk disrespectfully to anyone, including their fellow mates.

10. Being Positive all the time:

The kids should not be sad, upset, angry, or frustrated. They should always be happy and cheerful. They shouldn’t feel any sadness or pain and must not make mistakes.  Kids must not lie. They must always be grateful for what they ahve been given- family, friends, school, food, and shelter.

You read it so far. You may be wondering that these expectations are as normal as anything else. Sure, the kids should be academically good; they should have a positive attitude, respectful, etc. Such expectations are natural.

After all, parents have invested so much time in raising their children as per the rules of society. They have brought up their kids so they can make a name for themselves when they grow up.

Honestly, there’s nothing wrong with this. So, why do we see all these expectations in a negative light?

Expectations are a two-way game, after all. Ever thought about what your child expects from you? Have you ever wondered what a child means when upset or mad? Have you given two cents to why your child behaves the way they do? Amid your child’s triggers, fears, and frustrations, need for emotional support, desire for companionship in their parent(s) is your child’s expectations from you.  

In simple words, nurturing parenting is the concept of understanding your child’s emotional and mental needs and then approaching and addressing them with patience, warmth, and understanding.

Nurturing parenting requires you to go to your child’s emotional level and see things as per their perception. It requires you to kneel to your child’s eye level, hold them, and encourage them to express whatever bothers them.

Let’s get a better insight into nurturing parenting-

What is Nurturing Parenting? 

Nurturing is a part of parenting skills that can help you increase the health and well-being of your child. However, It is a common misconception that nurturing parenting begins once you become a parent. Instead, nurturing is a skill that starts before the child’s birth and continues throughout your child’s life. 

Every parent wants to nurture their child, but sadly, they end up taking steps that, rather than nurturing them, turn out to be the reasons behind their children drifting away. 

Nurturing Parenting: Intentional Ways of Practising

Practice empathy

Psychologist Alfred Adler puts it this way-  “empathy is seeing with the eyes of another, listening with the ears of another and feeling with the heart of another.”

Empathy is when you put yourself into someone else’s skin and view things from their perspective. To practise nurturing parenting, you need to consider things exactly how your children view them. And then, slightly pour a bit of ‘you’ touch in your words. 

You can approach your child’s tough emotions like, “I understand you are angry; do you want to talk about it?” For more such sentences, you can download my free guide here!  

And if your child is used to hitting others or you, you can learn to deal with and manage the child here!

Make schedules

It is an important component of nurturing parenting. Plan regular routines for and with your child. Their eating, sleeping, studying, and playing time should be scheduled. Besides this, schedule outings with them randomly. For example, let them know in the morning that you shall take them to the park or restaurant or art gallery today.

Schedules instil discipline in your child and you making random plans keeps the fun in their childhood alive! Knowing their schedule puts them in the controlling position because they know what to do next, and they are mentally ready without feeling any pressure or sudden burden upon them.

Use a positive skin-to-skin touch

We all sometimes crave a positive human touch. A gentle hug, pat on the back, and a kiss will help your kid feel closer to you. For more positive touch importance, tips, and positive effects on kids, check this out!

 A warm and gentle touch works well in the positive development of your child. They feel safe and secure in your embrace and understand what a good or bad touch is. In addition, your children know the language of love via loving hugs, gentle caresses on the head, sweet kisses on the forehead, an encouraging pat on the back, etc. 

Create safety

Make sure to ensure certain limits with your child along with nurturing them through games and activities.

Look for game areas with little or no possible hazards. Choose the caregivers carefully. Be mindful of the types of equipment that you keep around them. Choose the games that are helpful in your kids’ overall development. 

What are the Characteristics of a Nurturing Parent?

Sense of humour

A good sense of humour creates a fun environment in the family. And that’s why children enjoy bringing their friends home. If they feel comfortable around you because you keep the home environment light and happy, then they, too, will remain happy. 

Families, where parents are humorous, have unrestricted communication. It reduces life’s stresses for both- parents and children. 

Flexibility

Nurturing parents are always up for negotiations. These parents do not impose non-negotiable rules. Instead, they offer options and listen to their children’s considerations and opinions. As a result, the kids feel non-judged in the company of such parents.

They resolve the agreements smoothly, without indulging in useless arguments. Nurturing parents always understand the importance of their child’s say in crucial matters. 

Empowerment

A nurturing parent empowers their children to raise them into independent adults. They allow their kids to make mistakes. 

To instil confidence and a sense of empowerment in your kids, set them free wherever required. Let them make their decisions. Then, if they fail, teach them to learn and be careful in the future. 

Trust

Nurturing parents develop trust with their child right from infancy. Parents who practice nurturing parenting know that if their kids trust them, they will always come to them whenever they bother them. As a result, the kids will have no fear of being judged, mistreated, or insulted.

Why is Nurturing Important in Parenting?

Nurturing parenting is crucial because it fosters your parent-child relationship. Children do require warmth, care, protection and emotional support from their parents.

As it is commonly said- ‘you reap what you sow’. If you raise your children as nurtured, empathetic, and secure kids your kid will reward you with greater respect and love.

We want to throw some light on another commonly held misconception. Parents usually take nurturing relationships with adult children for granted.

 However, nurturing parenting is a consistent process. Though, it should evolve with time. 

What are the 4 Types of Parenting Styles?

Authoritarian

Parents who own an authoritarian parenting style for their children are less accommodating. They choose to follow a clear set of rules. They are strict about discipline, routine, schedules, and plans. There are certain limits and controls on the child, including punishments and little to no explanations. Understand more about the authoritarian parenting style here!

Permissive

It is the opposite of authoritarian parenting. Parents set their children free by placing few to no laws on them. They make random schedules. They believe that children have to be true to their own nature. Of course, there are many negative effects of such a parenting style. Know more about permissive parenting- here!

Uninvolved

Parents who adopt this style allow their children to do whatever they want. From both sides, there is a lack of coordination. Such parents are non-responsive towards their children. They pay little to no heed to their children’s needs, demands. These parents may be completely neglectful of their children. Know more about it here.

Authoritative

This is the most preferred style of parenting. Parents do interfere in the matters of their children but at the same time, they let them solve their problems on their own. These parents are highly responsive. They set limits for their children but respect their boundaries too. Such parents involve positive discipline instead of punishments, forced measures.

10 Tips on Becoming a Nurturing Parent

Love your kids-

Parental love is mostly unconditional. Parents love their children despite having to clean their poop and puke. They look after them when they are sick and unwell. Parents’ love for their children is unconditional and warm.

Validation and Encouragement-

Encouragement is something that boosts the confidence of every human. Praise them often. Encourage them to try out new adventures and explore new skills. Validate their emotions and feelings. Admire them for their good actions.

Spend time-

This is where most people fail. Nurturing parenting is more about quality. Try spending quality time with your kid. People may be spending the entire day with their children, and still, be lacking a stronger bond with their toddlers. 

Listen-

Interact with them frequently. Nurturing parents create a space for free two-way communication. Be a good listener. Listen to and understand them. Give their opinions and ideas some room to develop. Give them the freedom to express themselves.

Be a role model-

Bring nurturing in your actions. Parents are the first tutors of a child. Children will learn from watching you. Always try to model qualities that you want to see in your children. If you want to instil within them the habit of reading, read books yourself. If you want your kids to be polite, you will have to exercise being polite with them. 

Establish routines-

A scheduled environment helps your children know what and when to expect, and what is expected of them. This will help them be organised. In addition, they feel a sense of authority because they are aware of their actions.

Positive touch-

Nurturing parenting requires you to be in touch with your kid both- physically and emotionally. Warm embraces, gentle caresses, encouraging pats, etc. are examples of positive physical touch. 

Prioritize safety-

The environment your child grows in will also determine the success of your nurturing parenting. Try creating a positive and safe environment. Understand when they hesitate in telling you about something that bothers them. Make them comfortable enough. Ensure safety when you feel that they may feel threatened. 

Take care of yourself-

Along with nurturing your kid, do not forget to pay heed to your desires too. Pay adequate attention to your needs. 

Know your kid-

Know that every kid is different. Growth parameters are different in every kid. So pay individual attention to each kid. No two kids are similar. Their likes, qualities, habits are different. They require separate ways of being managed or dealt with or loved.

Photo by Terricks Noah on Unsplash

Winding Up

Nurturing parenting comes with practice. So we recommend you continue to work on approaching your child with love, care, warmth to improve your parent-child relationship. At the same time, it is also crucial for you to pay heed to yourself too. Every change starts from within!