In a world obsessed with Instagram aesthetics, Pinterest boards, and reel-worthy moments, it’s easy to mistake the wedding for the relationship. We spend months—sometimes years—planning the perfect day. But what about planning for the years after that?
Modern weddings have become spectacles. From destination mehendis and designer lehengas to choreographed dance routines and drone cinematography, the focus has shifted—from connection to curation.
But what if we flipped the narrative?
Twelve years ago, I got married at 20. It wasn’t fancy. There were no stylists, no elaborate themes, and definitely no slow-motion shots of me walking down the aisle. But what I did have was clarity.
I wasn’t focused on looking like a bride—I was focused on becoming a partner.
That mindset has made all the difference.
Let’s be real—there’s nothing wrong with celebrating love in style. Weddings are joyful. But somewhere along the way, we began investing more time, money, and energy into a day than into the marriage that follows.
This shift has created pressure:
To look flawless
To go viral
To meet societal standards of “ideal” couples
To impress more than express
And while those memories might get you likes, they won’t get you through a conflict, a tough financial season, or raising children together.
Being a good partner has nothing to do with aesthetics. It’s about showing up repeatedly.
On the good days, the hard days, and the days when neither of you feels particularly lovable—you choose love anyway.
Here’s what a real partnership looks like:
Open communication—even during conflict
Emotional availability
Shared values and goals
Growth mindsets
Walking through life together, not in parallel
You’re not performing for the world. You’re building for the long haul.
Let’s also be honest: society often equates being a good wife with being a good daughter-in-law—and they’re not the same thing.
Your marriage is about you and your partner, not a performance for extended families, relatives, or social circles.
Rewriting that narrative means:
Setting healthy boundaries
Nurturing your chosen relationship
After over twelve years together, here’s what I’ve learned—and continue to learn—about what truly makes a marriage work:
You don’t need hundreds of likes on your wedding photos. What you need is one person who genuinely sees you, supports your growth and stands by you through life’s ups and downs.
Every couple argues. What sets strong marriages apart is how those disagreements are handled. Repairing after conflict—through communication, accountability, and care—is far more valuable than striving for perfect compatibility.
People change. The version of you that gets married won’t be the same ten years down the line—and that’s okay. The key is to grow together, not apart. Staying curious about each other and nurturing each other’s growth keeps the relationship alive.
Marriage is not a one-time milestone. It’s a living, evolving partnership that must be built intentionally—day after day. It takes consistency, effort, and a shared commitment to weather life together, not just celebrate the good days.
We don’t have a big wedding album. No cinematic reel. No post-wedding magazine features.
What we do have:
12 years of memories
Two kids
Countless shared experiences
A bond that’s grown stronger through challenge and change.
And I have not felt like I missed out.
If you’re in the middle of planning your big day—go ahead. Make it beautiful. Be creative. Be extra.
But don’t forget to plan:
How you’ll handle stress together
How you’ll manage finances
How you’ll keep the romance alive after year five
How you’ll grow as individuals and as a team
Your wedding lasts a day.
Your marriage is the real forever.
We need a cultural shift. One that moves the spotlight from wedding choreography to emotional choreography.
Because the flowers wilt.
The cake gets eaten.
The DJ packs up.
But the connection you build? That stays.
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