If you are in a serious or long term relationship, you might want to be aware of the biggest turn-offs for women and men. Of course, you may have already learned about some of them, but here are the 40 biggest turn offs for women and men to help them steer clear of certain habits, behaviours, and personality traits in a relationship. 

What is a Turn Off?

What are the turn-offs in a relationship? Just like you do some things that arouse your partner, you do certain things that your partner may find unappealing. Some things may cause your partner to lose interest or desire in you or become a real deal-breaker. 

The turn-offs can be caused by your partner’s behaviour, the choice of words, action, or some of their personality traits. While some turn-offs are harmless and can be addressed with time, some are red flags or toxic signs that you should know to avoid.

Also, Read- When is a relationship toxic?

Why? Simple answer- To maintain your peace, sanity, and emotional and mental well-being.

Let’s take a look at 40 something turnoffs for every individual. These are not some superficial or unreal turnoffs that make no sense. Instead, I shall be listing the turnoffs that affect a long-term relationship. 

40 Biggest Turn offs in Serious, Long-term Relationships: 

• Not communicating your needs in a relationship; thinking that the other person will understand your silence. One of the biggest turn-offs is expecting the other person to listen to your silence without expressing or communicating what you need in a relationship. 

• Wanting the other person to always be there for you but never returning the favour; You want your partner to be at your beck and call but find excuses when your partner needs you. 

• Refusing to admit and accept when you are wrong is also one of the biggest turn-offs in a serious relationship. When you lack the decency to admit your mistake, you lose a tint of respect in your partner’s eyes. 

• Another turn-off in a relationship is putting the other person down when they are excited about something or interested to learn a new thing. 

• Your partner has such low self-esteem that you often feel you’re walking on eggshells while speaking with them because you never know what may offend or upset them. 

• They yell, shout, quarrel, or fight with you or others to maintain their point. This is one of the biggest turn-offs for men and women in a serious relationship. They cannot communicate without being verbally abusive. 

Also, Read- Are you caught up in a love-hate relationship?

• Being mean and selfish to you or others is also a big turn-off as it reflects a great deal about their character. 

• Smoking, drinking irresponsibly, and partying like this is the last day of their life is another big turn-off. 

• Cheating on your partner- need I say more? 

• Nagging and always complaining about every little thing is also one of the biggest turn-offs in a relationship. No conversation goes by without the person complaining about something or anything. 

• They do not have opinions or thoughts on anything. Understandably, a person may not know everything. But having no stand or opinion whatsoever reflects a dispassionate trait of their personality. 

• Lying and dishonesty about things; You don’t know what to trust and whatnot. They could be lying about their name and address. It puts off people when their partner lies about every small thing. 

• Talking about exes demeaningly shows that they lack general decency and respect for anyone they once loved or dated. If they are always talking low of other people, something is wrong with them only. 

• Neediness, wanting you to respond to their call or text all the time, clinging to you- a big turn-off. Of course, every individual has a life besides their relationship. But when a person makes their relationship their life, it gets hard to deal with such constant neediness. 

• Apologising without meaning it and only to shut the other person off. They can’t seem to listen to their faults and flaws and want to get over the disagreement without really understanding. 

• One of the biggest turn-offs in a relationship is making private details about your partner or relationship public or known to friends. 

• Making promises to better themselves in important areas for the growth of your relationship and both of you but never keeping them- is a big turn-off. 

• One of the biggest turn-offs is that they are selfish in bed; they don’t care about your pleasure or needs. 

Also, read- 40 Dirty Talks For A Long-Distance Relationship

• Spewing statements filled with sexism, racism, or any stereotype nonsense; they demean someone’s existence by joking about it or mocking the individual. 

• Lacking hygiene or basic table manners is a huge turn-off. 

• Not letting the other person finish what they are saying. 

• Name-calling when angry or frustrated is a huge turn-off because their words are momentary, but their impact is long-lasting. 

• Taking EVERYTHING too seriously or taking NOTHING seriously at all. 

• Lacking any goals or ambitions in life and never willing to put effort into better living. 

• Being rude to staff or anyone else is a major turn-off because if a person cannot respect someone serving them, they cannot respect you. 

• Talking behind someone’s back and then behaving over-friendly with the same person. 

• Having sex on mind all the freaking time like they are some teenager with raging hormones. 

• Absent-mindedness- being in their world or inattentiveness towards everything happening in the world is a big turn-off. 

• Whatever situation they talk about, they are either the hero or the victim. It’s as if everything revolves around them and nothing else matters to them. 

Also, Read- Are you being exploited in a romantic relationship?

• Sparking fights between people for the sole purpose of entertainment; their life revolves around drama and meddling in people’s lives. 

• Being a control freak, jealous, possessive, and over-protective nature is the biggest turn-off. 

• Having the emotional quotient of a jellyfish makes them insensitive to people’s feelings and emotions- which is a big turn-off. 

• Not exercising a general sense of boundaries is a major turn-off. Living in the world without a dime of respect towards others’ boundaries is a big NO. 

• Jumping to conclusions too quickly is also one of the biggest turn-offs. 

• No self-respect is a big turn-off for men and women in a relationship. 

• Lack of initiative- if you are always the only one making plans, their lack of initiative is a huge turn-off. 

• Having no self-awareness or general wisdom and always pretending to be something they are not, is a huge turn-off for men and women in a serious relationship. 

• Being super concerned about materialistic items, social status, and reputation but no connection with their real selves is a major turn-off for men and women. 

• Threatening to break up or leave after every argument is a big turn-off in a serious relationship. 

• Making flawed judgements, like, how someone looks or dresses up, etc., is a huge turn-off for both men and women. 

Also, Read- 35 characteristics of a healthy relationship

Conclusion 

I understand that people are not perfect. Everyone is flawed; some know their flaws, and some don’t. But if you find your partner or yourself relating to any of the turn-offs mentioned above, it’s time to actively work on them and be the better version of yourself.