Signs of a love-hate relationship
My best friend is tired of hearing about my love-hate relationship with my ‘almost’ ex. One day, we are fighting and swearing to never be in each other’s lives. And the next day, we fall back into being intensely intimate with each other.
My friend often states how much energy we both drain out of each other by being in this relationship. It may sound like one of the most toxic relationship types, and it probably is. She often tells me that this signifies me being in a love-hate relationship.
Let’s find out more about what a love-hate relationship is.
It is an emotionally draining relationship marked by constant ups and downs. In most situations, this type of relationship ends up being choked with unfulfilled desires. An obvious sign of the dynamics of love and hate in a relationship is that you cannot drive the thought of your partner away from your mind.
Is it possible you love and hate someone only at certain times?
Intense relationships are characterised by extraordinary pull-me and push-you elements.
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Intermittent passionate highs and indifferent lows mark the basis of such a relationship. However, things fall off the balance when the chances of a persistent desirable and hurtful relationship are high.
A love-hate relationship fills your mind with extreme emotions. You make significant efforts to move forward, only to be stopped in between. One day you may experience the biggest crush on your partner. Surprisingly, you may feel indifferent towards the relationship the very next day.
Such frequent instability in your mind can result in utter emotional and mental exhaustion. Besides, you may end up being in a messy, confusing situation. The constant thought of whether you are in love or out of it may wreak havoc on your life. You are not ready to simply let go.
Having occasional fights and arguments between couples is normal. Even though it might sound amusing, a few couples enjoy the shouting match now and then. However, for the most part, couples do not go separate ways every alternate week.
On the off chance that you and your better half constantly engage in frequent break-ups or patch-ups, it is time you consider taking an earnest look at whether your relationship is on track or jumped it. Let alone trying to figure out how it keeps you in low spirits.
As a rule, most love-hate relationships are stormy. You love and hate your partner with passion. Even while going through a period when things are fine, you know in your heart that the relationship will crash at any moment. You cannot come to terms with your partner. You always try to look at the relationship through rose-tinted glasses and wish things were different.
This difficulty leads to unrest as pangs of insecurity make you overwhelmed. You find it hard to derive comfort from the good times you spent with your partner. This explains why you either cling in love or pull back with hate.
If truth be told, you think of the impossible when you wish for a relationship to be perfect. Sometimes, a friend comes to help to give you a listening ear so that you can pour out your feelings and be open about your relationship status with your partner. Unfortunately, you often seem to lose your temper while discussing your relationship with a close friend or a confidante. A situation gradually emerges when you are constantly complaining about your partner. Always, finding faults becomes a kind of entertainment to you.
This indicates that something is not right. You do not get a clear picture of making amends or cutting off all ties. You get involved in a complicated love-hate circle and cannot bail you out of it.
When your partner turns into an indulgence, care to know the relationship for all practical purposes is entering a danger zone. You know for certain there is very little chance for the two of you to be together. But, for some reason, the guilty pleasure starts giving you a strange thrill.
Also, read- Set Healthy Boundaries When you are friends with an Ex
Sometimes, self-hatred may also affect you because you love your partner. Such hatred and anguish may grind down your self-esteem to a good extent, making splitting up even more difficult to pull off.
The majority of love-hate relationships come with a large proportion of an underlying obsession. In the love phase, you are flooded with thoughts of fondness and adoration for your partner. On the contrary, you are terribly under the impression of how your partner drives you insane during the hate phase.
Also, Read- When is a relationship toxic?
One way or the other, the thought of your partner lingers in your mind at all times. So, you become preoccupied inside out. While you are toying with the idea of getting a fair degree of perspective about your relationship, the twenty-four-seven reflections in your mind make things more problematic for you.
A typical blow hot blow cold relationship makes us wonder about the actual state of affairs. However, when your relationship is healthy and balanced, it does not leave much room for you to feel insecure or lack confidence.
Do not be very concerned if you can identify with any of the above signs. But, of course, it does not imply that severing all ties with your partner is the next best thing to do in life.
At times, all of us are weighed down with intense emotional issues. As a result, we start exhibiting unhealthy tendencies. The responsibility lies in us to recognise them, get a grip on them, and solve them.
Also, Read- What to Do and Not to Do After Break-Up
But, if you find your relationship status matches all or most of those troublesome boxes, you are doing more harm to yourself by hanging around. And this is most probably an indication that you need to rediscover yourself and clear up what precisely sets your heart on.
